Larry The Cable Guy Is Our Generation’s Arnold Schwarzenegger

46411aThe resemblance is uncanny, really. I don’t know why I never noticed it before. Exaggerated accent? Check.  Terrible movies? Check. And now, Coming Soon is reporting that Larry The Cable Guy is going to replace Arnold Schwarzenegger in a sequel to Jingle All The Way.

I understand the casting completely.  You’ve got a sequel to a movie from 20 years ago that nobody liked very much the first time, only you can’t cast the original actor because the premise was what a great father he was, which we now know to be a bit off base. But what I want to know is, WHO IS THIS MOVIE EVEN FOR?!

Fans of the original?  I’m sure most of them died of poor life decisions a long time ago, there can’t be enough left to make up an entire demographic.  Fans of Larry The Cable Guy?  While I’m sure he has plenty of those, I somehow don’t see them crowding the theaters to watch him try to wrestle a One Direction action figure away from Martin Lawrence (our generation’s Sinbad). Fans of low-brow slapstick?  Maybe.  That seems to be a pretty steady demographic.

Ugh.  Gabe must be rolling in his hovergrave over this one.

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Facetaco has a face and enjoys tacos. He is truly the voice of the people.
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19 Responses to Larry The Cable Guy Is Our Generation’s Arnold Schwarzenegger

  1. (I just want everyone to know that facetaco wasn’t able to add images to this post, so he told me I could if I wanted, and I threatened to add only pictures of scary, old-timey clowns. Seriously regretting not doing it now.)

  2. flanny says:

    As someone who went to at least four different Targets over Christmas looking for a gift for her niece, I must say that at that time of year the One Direction merch is really picked over, so this is a compelling and realistic premise. If I had even been able to find a Niall figurine on the shelf, I would certainly have fought Larry the Cable Guy for it.

  3. ARE. THOSE. TATTOOS. REAL.

  4. catweazle says:

    Ok serious question though, who is Larry the Cable Guy?

  5. drfeelgoodmd says:

    “It’s a War on Christmas. But this time the Target IS the battlefield.”

    Free tagline, Hollywood.

  6. I feel like i liked larry the cable guy health inspector, but i think i was REALLY drunk?

  7. taoreader says:

    You don’t have to claim you were drunk, we won’t judge you!*

    *we’ll judge you

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