Monthly Archives: March 2014

Grave Robbers Beware

When I am shuffled off this mortal coil, I want to ensure that my beautiful corpse is protected from dastardly fiends and potential ghost jerks.  That’s why I plan having this 13-foot Gundam statue stand at the head of my … Continue reading

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Scrunchies and Remotes: Baby-Sitters Club Ep04

Episode 4: Kristy and the Great Campaign In this week’s episode, we are plunged into the flithy world of political machinations which rules the lives of the ordinary people who attend the Stoneybrook, Connecticut, public education system. This week’s episode … Continue reading

Posted in TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 13 Comments

Is Everybody Legally Required to Have an Opinion About Miley Cyrus?

That is the main question I have after reading this interview with Sarah McLachlan, who apparently has a new album coming out. The interview beings with a brief discussion of who she would like to collaborate with and whether she would … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Our girlfriend Kate Middleton’s baby is extremely cute

I’m no baby expert, but I’m pretty sure his Royal Chubbycheekness qualifies as what great-aunts everywhere refer to as a “cutie patootie.” His sweater–sorry, jumper–says George! He loves his doggie! I don’t know why they’re in a window, but who … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities | Tagged , , | 20 Comments

Living Your Cyclopean Dreams

Since discovering his abilities, Scott Summers has had to deal with the burden of having lasers continuously shoot out of his eyes.  Unless he’s wearing special glasses, the man is a threat to anyone in his line of sight.  However, there are others who … Continue reading

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Friday Open Thread!

I’ve got a buttload of work to get through this afternoon, and the queue is currently empty, so we’re going to wrap things up a little early today. Tell me what you’re doing this weekend! And anything else you want … Continue reading

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Flanoscopes for Your Weekend

Wondering what’s in the stars for you this weekend? Wonder no more, because here I am with this weekend’s Flanoscopes. They’re like horoscopes, but they sound like a medical device! Aries: March 21-April 20 OMG, it might be your birthday!! … Continue reading

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From the Nightmare Files: Live-action Marge Simpson

Ah, remember the good ol’ days when “making art” meant capturing the imagined likeness of the Virgin Mary and a few apostles in a fresco and/or in marble, if you wanted to get all 3-D fancy? And then later, when … Continue reading

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Breaking Sports News: NCAA Athletes Might be Kind of Dumb, Getting Preferential Treatment

The above “essay,” which was written by a University of North Carolina athlete, apparently earned its author an A-. It would have been a solid A, but the student didn’t properly cite the issue of Highlights that he sourced the quotes from … Continue reading

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A Post About Balls

Look guys, I’m going to level with you.  I may be an adult man, but I’m still a kid at heart.  I can read all the works of Umberto Eco and listen to every Haydn composure, but there’s no way I … Continue reading

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