Pedestrian Showdown

As someone who used to live in one of the most walkable cities in America, I’d like to think my walking speed is pretty reasonable. I move fast enough to keep foot traffic flowing, but I’m also not bulldozing others like I have 5 minutes to claim a million dollar prize. That’s why it irks me so much when some jerkfaces feel the need to walk even faster, almost to the point of running, coming up right next to my side when they pass. It’s almost as if they want me to know how slow I’m traveling.  I’m sure you REALLY need to get home to catch the new Person of Interest, buddy.

Normally, I would be wary of posting this story because it would out me as a crazy person. But after seeing this video, I know there are others out there that deal with similar issues.

Since I moved to Georgia, this sort of thing happens less frequently. Of course, I now I have to worry about my “slow” pace on the road, so it looks like the speed battle will never end.

Source: The Awesomer

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About FRQ

Once ate an entire blueberry cobbler by accident
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22 Responses to Pedestrian Showdown

  1. Oh wow, I really loved this.

    I get super stressed if I’m walking behind someone and I can’t get past them, even if they are walking at a reasonable pace. It just feels really weird to be a few paces behind and seemingly going in the same direction. This happens a lot on my way to the train, since so many of us are going there.

    • flanny says:

      Just this morning I had the opposite. I was walking at my normal pace and suddenly I was aware of footfalls behind me that were going just a little bit faster than mine. It took this lady, like, two blocks, though, to finally pass me at a crosswalk, and the whole time I was like, “Just speed up and pass me!”

      • FRQ says:

        Don’t get me wrong. There are people out there who either walk too slow or stop walking at an inconvenient location (I’m looking at you, tourists!). And I’m generally aware of others who are coming up behind me at a much faster pace and move over to let them pass. It’s situations like flanny’s that irritate the shit out of me.

        The absolute best is when the passer and I end up going to the same place, and that person got there like 5 seconds before I did, with absolutely no benefit.

        • I will say I have been that person who got to the crosswalk and had to wait for it to change, so the person I passed caught up. To be fair, I was actually late for where I was going. It’s always mildly embarrassing, though.

        • Commentatrix says:

          Unless that same place you’re going to is a restaurant and they have now stolen your spot on the seating waitlist!

    • Erika says:

      Pacing someone at just a few feet behind them also feels stalkerish. That’s why it’s also kind of aggravating when I’m going only slightly faster than someone, I manage to catch up to them, but then I’m not walking quite fast enough to pass them quickly.

      Although what really drives me nuts is when I’m walking at a pretty good clip (I’ve slowed down a lot since I left New York but I still walk a lot faster than most people in my city), I stop for the light, and then excruciatingly slow walkers go to the front of the line when waiting for the light.

      • FRQ says:

        I understand the stalker thing. I’m always aware of it when I’m walking home at night and there’s someone a few feet in front of me. I take steps to let them know I’m not a serial killer, such as take another route home, or walk on the other side of the street.

        At this point it should be pretty obvious that I’m looney tunes.

  2. catweazle says:

    I tend to be a little more on the bulldozer side when walking but only because 80% of people on the street apparently have no desire to actually get to wherever they’re going, judging by their walking speed. I am barely over five feet tall and have disproportionately short legs. If I am walking faster than you, you’re going too slow!

    • I also have disproportionately short legs, and I think it’s actually made me a faster walker, because I always had to hustle to keep up with everyone, so now I’m just used to a quicker pace. And I’m totally fine with saunterers, as long as they stay over to one side and let people get around them. It’s the people wandering around aimlessly in the middle of sidewalk like it’s their first time visiting planet earth that drive me nuts.

      • artdorkgirl says:

        Me too! I tend to walk fast to keep up with my tall friends.

      • Erika says:

        Also the people who wander aimlessly in a group, so you’re never going to pass them. I either cross the street or silently pray that they’re going to walk into the Starbucks up the street.

  3. collin0truckasaurus says:

    Thanks for posting a link to that article, FRQ!!! As someone whose biggest pet peeve is people who drive 60 in the left lane (and don’t get over when someone (me) is trying to go faster), I appreciate this new law VERY MUCH. The idea that someone is deliberately trying to slow me down because they want to tell me how fast to drive is something I had not considered (I had assumed it was always people who are oblivious to the left lane rule), and honestly makes me so mad I can’t even handle it. I love to imagine the cop will pull some guy over for going 60 when I’m trying to go 80. Thanks, cop!

    • FRQ says:

      I’m on board too, but I hope they distinguish clear guidelines as to what constitutes “driving too slow”. The way some people drive here can be terrifying.

      • collin0truckasaurus says:

        I always just take it as not getting over when someone behind you clearly wants to go faster. I drive pretty fast, but if someone is coming up behind me going faster, I just get out of his or her way because I’m “too slow” in that case. Although I think the law is going to be very tricky because they’re going to have to admit that people drive (much) faster than 55 and that “too slow” is going to be over the speed limit maybe? I honestly don’t think I’ve been behind someone going less than 55 in the left lane. So now you can get a ticket for going 60 in the left lane for it being “too slow”?

    • Erika says:

      Slow drivers in the left lane happen so frequently in the Seattle area, I’ve basically come to believe that it’s a deliberate thing on the part of many. Like they’re trying to police the speeds of other people. I’ve become resigned to the fact that I have to get in the right lane if I want to pass.

  4. artdorkgirl says:

    As we just got back from Texas, this reminds me of what I call the “Texas Pace” on the highway (although it happens in Oklahoma too). Two cars get in front of you in either lane, and instead of the one of the left passing, they just pace each other, trapping you behind them. It is sooo frustrating. Even more so when the two vehicles in question are semis. UGH.

    • collin0truckasaurus says:

      I hate this SO much on any road.

    • Oh my god, this happened to me for almost A FULL HOUR on the interstate once. A semi got over to pass an SUV, but then they both decided to hang out together and be road buddies. The weather/road conditions were fine, and there was a giant double line of cars stuck behind them. It’s the only time in my life when I’ve layed on my horn. When the semi FINALLY got over and I passed it, the driver in the car behind me gave me a thumbs up as he passed me.

      • Erika says:

        I’ve started to get very tempted to lay on my horn when stuck between two slow drivers who are pacing each other. The problem is, in my area, honking your horn is some sort of fate worse than death even in situations where you’re just tapping the horn to warn another driver that they’re about to hit you.

  5. Simon Spidermonk says:

    This video is the best. I have tears in my eyes from laughing.
    Being stuck behind someone who’s going slower than me really bothers me though. I’ve tried to be chill about it by adjusting my pace and strolling a few steps behind but unless it’s an incredibly beautiful day and I’m listening to a song that fits the moment perfectly and the chemicals in my brain are percolating just so, I get really stressed. I’m more of a dodger than a bulldozer, zig-zagging around people, avoiding eye contact so they can’t see how annoyed I am at them for impeding my flow, but after a few blocks, on busy days when there’s a lot of people out and I’m constantly dodging, all these incremental adjustments to my speed add up and I find myself walking way faster than I want to be, and every time my rage-weighted foot hits the pavement it feels like it’s saying, “This. Is. God. Damn. Ree. Dick. You. Lus.”

    • FRQ says:

      I think your dodger situation is a little different, and totally reasonable. When I’m at a convention or festival, there’s a lot to see in a limited amount of time, so I do the same thing.

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