Breaking! Middle-aged White Dude in a Suit to replace other Middle-aged White Dude in a Suit in late night


In case you haven’t heard yet, CBS just announced that Stephen Colbert will be replacing David Letterman on The Late Show after he retires in 2015.  This shouldn’t come as a surprise for anyone who has been following the story closely as CBS had allegedly been talking to Colbert long before Letterman’s official announcement.  Before I go into my usual complaint, I’d like to say that I’m very happy for both Letterman and Colbert because I believe they are both very funny people who deserve their success.  When I was a kid, my friend auditioned for Stupid Human Tricks and I was in charge of calling to describe her talent and convince the producers that we were worth their time.  Here’s where the story gets hilarious and nostalgia-ridden about the joys of three-way calling in the 90s!  I tried to call with my friend (the one with the trick) on three-way so she could add in stuff or at least listen to how I did.  I wrote out my phone call very very carefully so as to include some great descriptions as well as great jokes!  I said everything perfectly and hung up, transferring the call to just me and my friend where I then freaked the fuck out about how nervous I was and how awesome it would be to go on the show.  Classic 90s twist — the phone DIDN’T transfer just to me and my friend and my nervous freak out had been recording on the audition call the WHOLE TIME!  We got a call back and went to audition, but didn’t make the show.

All this to say that I love both comedians and both have had a great impact on all of our lives, but it’s time for a change!  The problem is that no network late night program is going to be able to cast an unknown/inexperienced host and all the current late night hosts are middle-aged white dudes in suits already.  Chelsea Handler is an obvious exception, but I doubt CBS would consider her at all.  There was also talk that Ellen Degeneres was on the list and I saw one article that included Whoopi Goldberg as well.  Neither would be bad as late night host, I don’t think, but both do pretty well in their current jobs.  I think what we really need are more women and people of color in late night in general.

Once Colbert moves to CBS, Comedy Central has an opportunity to launch someone new in that 11:30 slot (unless they want to move @midnight up a half hour and rename it I guess?).  Let’s talk about who might be great for a new 11:30 show!

  • Samantha Bee: She’s great on The Daily Show and it’s very likely Comedy Central will promote from within
  • Tina Fey & Amy Poehler: duh duh duh
  • Jessica Williams: again, KILLING IT on The Daily Show
  • Tracy Morgan: Please, SOMEONE give this guy a talk show!
  • Aasif Mandvi or Wyatt Cynac: this list is a little Daily Show heavy, but really they’re all great!
  • Mindy Kaling: This would mean her sitcom got canceled and IN NO WAY do I want that
  • Retta: Again, please let her stay on Parks & Rec, but in case she’s looking for a job, let’s all watch her watch stuff!

What are your ideas?


About collin0truckasaurus

Truck is a fan of cheeseburgers, gifs of cats, and saying the F word. She has lived a bunch of different places but the internet is by far her favorite. Her main complaint in life is that food noted as "spicy" on a menu is never spicy enough.
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47 Responses to Breaking! Middle-aged White Dude in a Suit to replace other Middle-aged White Dude in a Suit in late night

  1. Retta would be SO GREAT. You know she’d ask the questions that we actually all want to know.

  2. flanny says:

    They could pass it along to another SWCer and give it to Amy Sedaris. Though I doubt she would take it. Raising rabbits in an urban environment takes up a lot of time!

  3. collin0truckasaurus says:

    omg my first post! So exciting! #nerd

  4. Wallflower says:

    Obligatory Drag Race answer: Pandora Boxx or Alaska

    Or….I would totally watch anything hosted by Jason Mantzoukas. He is a delight!

    And, Amy Schumer already has a show but I really enjoy her interview skills on normal folks so I’d love to see her interview celebs, if any of them would be brave enough to talk to her.

  5. Casey says:

    If I can get sappy with you all for a minute, I got really sad the other day thinking about Letterman hanging it up. I haven’t watched his show (or any late night TV) in years, but it used to be so important to me. It makes me think of staying up late with an older cousin with some Top Ramen and Coke and feeling cool beyond my years.

    • collin0truckasaurus says:

      I used to have such a hard time staying up for it. I would always stay up at least until the Top Ten list and then go to bed.

      • Casey says:

        Yeah, the Top Ten was a must, as well as any bits he did up front (especially back in the days when he still did remote stuff).

      • flanny says:

        They used to play the Top 10 List the morning after on the talk radio station my mom listened to and I’d listen to it while waiting for my carpool in high school.

    • msmessica says:

      Me too. Did you guys ever watch the old Late Light reruns they showed on cable years ago? I think it was on IFC or something like that, but it definitely made me realize how much he changed Late Night TV.

      • Casey says:

        No, I’ve never really seen his NBC stuff except bits and pieces on Youtube. I would love some kind of retrospective DVD.

  6. I can’t evem stay up this late ;( . I would love tina and amy 4eva or kurt brouhnoler and kristen shaal

  7. FRQ says:

    While I’m totally on board with the idea of having a different kind of late night host, I’m not a fan of that disparaging post title. Stephen Colbert has put together one of the best shows on television for over 8 years, and to label him as just a “middle aged white dude in a suit” is pretty cynical, making him sound like he’s the CEO of giant faceless organization. I know you expressed your admiration for him your opening statement, but seeing that headline is dismissive of his talents.

    • collin0truckasaurus says:

      That’s fair, and honestly I watch him every day and think he’ll be great on The Late Show. I was more trying to point out that it’s an overall problem, not one specific to Colbert or Letterman or Fallon or Seth Meyers.

      • FRQ says:

        I will say to your point that Late Night could have been an opportunity to have someone different host. I like Seth Meyers, but I don’t feel like he’s vastly more qualified than some of the people you and everyone else has listed.

        • pickpocket says:

          I watched one episode of Seth Meyers doing Late Night and it just made me depressed. I felt like it was a big experimental exercise, like, “Create an entertainment program that most closely communicates the idea of humans giving up.” But I feel that way about a lot of SNL, too, so.

  8. msmessica says:

    I know Maya Rudolph is doing a variety show pilot for ABC that I want to see picked up, but if it weren’t I would love for her to have a nightly show. Paul F. Tompkins would also be great, and he does a live variety show at Largo.

    In my wildest dreams they would do a variety show together as a sort of Donny and Marie but not Mormon duo.

  9. Casey says:

    Serious talk, though: if they were dead set on going the white-dude-in-a-suit route (and obviously they were), I wonder how much consideration was given to Conan? It kind of would have been only right for the Late Show to be a haven for funnier guys that got passed up for Jay Leno. I love Stephen Colbert and all, but the more I think about it the more I think Conesy would have been perfect. Maybe he’ll never get the stink of TBS off of him.

  10. pickpocket says:

    Why are we nominating people who are good to do these dumb shows? No late night show will attain whatever level of greatness Letterman once did — it’s a tired format. That’s why I’m nominating Brendan Fraser. Because he needs something to do and it’s not like we’ll be watching anyway.

    • flanny says:

      My sister would be amped!!

    • summerestherson says:

      I’m not gonna lie, I might watch Brendan Fraser’s talk show. Never Forget George of the Jungle era Brendan Fraser’s abs.

    • i also think it’s a tired format, but if there was something like a half-hour animated show done by Loren Bouchard, Jon Benjamin (duh), maybe Kristen Schaal as host, and a couple other comedian regulars, i would totally dig that. i’m picturing a late-night spoof format, kind of… Space Ghost meets Dr. Katz, with other semi-scripted, almost podcast-y bits with comedians and musicians.

  11. Really, I think the best solution is to give US a talk show, where we will make guests tell ghost stories so viewers will be too scared to turn off the TV and go to bed. Boom, ratings gold.

  12. Commentatrix says:

    I’m happy for Colber and all — it’s an iconic show, and promotions are cool, I guess.

    But… is anyone else worried that Late Show Colbert will simply not be the same as Colbert Report Colbert? I mean, forget the fact that it’s CBS vs. Comedy Central and the censorship will be nothing short of stifling for someone like him, but also… he will practically have to hang up the Stephen Colbert character for good! Interviewing celebrities about boring old anecdotes about their kids’ spit-up and whatnot? Gone will be the cutting-edge interviews that Colbert is famous for!

    I, for one, am mostly sad about this announcement, because we’ll essentially be losing Stephen Colb-aire. Now I guess he’s gonna go back to Col-burt and his real personality?? What if his real personality is boring, guys?? And of course I agree that it’s a total missed opportunity to not take this opportunity to diversity the late-night landscape AT ALL. I mean, it’s the ’90s! If not now, when? When?

    • Simon Spidermonk says:

      Yeah, according to whatever yardstick measures success, I guess this is a good thing for Colbert, but it doesn’t feel that way. Maybe he’s got some incredible ideas for his new show. Maybe (hopefully) it won’t even be another late night talk show. Does anyone still give a crap about celebrities? I mean, I know they do, but why?!? Why would he willingly (and, one assumes, eagerly) submit to such a constraining format? Et tu, Colbé? *dies*

    • mydumbopiniongoeshere says:

      Yeah, earlier this week the rumors were that he was going to drop the Bill O’Reilly imitation persona. He’s SO good at it that it makes me sad. However, I can also imagine that he might actually get tired of doing it, so…good for him?

    • Mintie says:

      I get weirdly excited about the idea of my favourite celebrities/comedians/personalities making staggering sums of cash, even if it’s at the expense of me getting more content that I would actually watch and enjoy. I understand that this is a weird, self-defeating preference.

    • Erika says:

      Someone mentioned Neil Patrick Harris as a possible replacement for Letterman, and I was just like “are you kidding?” Neil is way too good for that job. He can sing/dance/act. He can do TV/movies/theater. Why the hell would he give that up for some crappy talk show gig? That has to be a full-time job, right?

      I’m less dismayed by the suggestion of Colbert taking the spot, but I still feel like he can do better. But, who knows? I think he’s basically a genius, so maybe he’ll be amazing.

  13. hotspur says:

    Colbert’s sensibility is very different from Letterman’s, Leno’s, and Fallon’s. This is good. You will see.

  14. Erika says:

    I have to disagree about Tracy Morgan. He’s good when he’s kept on a very short leash. I don’t know if he’s suffering from an actual mental illness, but I wouldn’t want to see the very public, very inevitable meltdown if he had his own talk show.

    • mydumbopiniongoeshere says:

      What, you don’t want to see an 11:30 monologue about how he would stab his own son if he were gay?

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