I’m going to outline two scenarios for you, and you can decide which one seems more palatable.
A friend approaches you on the street and says “Hey, I’m going to see this new movie about an ancient vampire couple named Adam and Eve! One of them is a brooding musician mired in existential angst and has Tommy Wiseau hair! Want to come?”
A friend approaches you on the street and says “Want to come see the new Jim Jarmusch movie? It stars Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston.”
Have you made your choice? HA HA you’ve been punk’d! They’re the same movie!
I’m sure you had no idea; it’s not like we all watched the trailer a thousand years ago.
But the movie is being released to select theaters this weekend, and imagine my surprise when it started getting some really good reviews! It looks so dumb! So I’m taking a page out of the book of one of the great heroines of our age and making a pro/con list to help us decide whether it’s worth seeing.
It’s almost too close to call, and this is a choice we all have to make for ourselves. May god have mercy on our souls if we choose unwisely!