Hi guys, I don’t want you to worry, but I *think* we’ve got problems, of an apocalyptic nature.
I wouldn’t have predicted that the gates of hell would open up above Leamington Spa in England, but it seems they have, so we’ve got to just move forward and figure out how we’re going to handle it.
This black ring appeared in the sky last Friday, and hovered there for three minutes. You can check out video here. 16-year-old Georgia Heap was playing tennis with her mother Jo when it appeared, and she officially confirms what we’d all been suspecting: it was the “weirdest thing” she’s ever seen. Me too Georgia!
Anyway you probably have a really simple explanation for it, right? Smoke ring! NOPE, SMARTYPANTS! No fires recorded in the area at the time. And even if there were, it wouldn’t have kept its shape for as long as it did, according to the British Pyrotechnists Association.
Probably just boring old weather? CERTAINLY NOT! Experts say a cloud would have blown away more quickly, much like your dumb smoke theory.
Acrobatic bird display team? TRY AGAIN! “It’s certainly not birds”, says Richard James, of the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds.
How’s about insects? An apocalyptic plague of them, perhaps? GETTING WARMER! Hoverflies of the Syrphidae family apparently love a good swarm at this time of year. But what about that ring shape? “I have never seen this before but it is plausible”, says entomologist (first time this word has been used on Vgum? I HOPE SO!) Frederic Tripet from Keele University.
Whatever, Trips. We’ve seen this sort of nightmare before. We’ve ignored it. Personally I’m not going to ignore this one. If you need me, I’ll be under the table with my tin foil hat on, counting up to make sure I have enough tins.