My boyfriend, Leonardo DiCaprio, just shelled out big money for a new
place to woo supermodels apartment in a New York City. This one of a kind building brands itself as “the first Wellness Real Estate Residence in the world.” Sure. What else would 10 million bucks pay for?
Aside from being a ridiculously beautiful apartment, the building boasts some out of the ordinary amenities. Let’s take a look at a few here:
A vitamin C-infused shower that “eliminates residual chlorine and promotes healthier skin and hair.” I am assuming that this isn’t just rich person speak for “bathing in orange juice.” I will now forever imagine that Leo smells like the way your hands do after you peel a tangerine at work and then everyone walks past your desk asking, “Does it smell like oranges in here?” for the rest of the day.
Electrical panel that reduces electromagnetic field exposure. Does this also protect agains paranormal field exposure? Because if so, there are some other real estate properties Leo could start branching into.
“Dawn simulation coordinates lighting” that comes with blackout shades “to gently increase the amount of light in the bedroom at a customizable wake-up time.” This sounds 100% heavenly.
“Reflexology stone pathways” that activate and support the muscular system when walked on. Good call, no one likes a supermodel with scoliosis.
A 78-bottle wine refrigerator. Self-explanatory.
These are all great, but I feel like there are way more things that apartments could offer for their bajillion dollar tenants. When I win the lottery this is what I want…
- A Slide. It’s been done in NYC already, but it’s still amazing.
- Two story Diet Coke waterfall
- Rooftop with pool that has a lazy-river
- Concierge service where you can rent a puppy or kitten to snuggle with
- A personal butler who is Alfred from Batman
- Wood-burning pizza oven, full time chef to make pizzas in it
Haunted doll roomSaved by the Bell and New Kids on the Block Barbie Doll Room