What is this abomination you ask? Why, it’s Lemonhead’s newest mascot. You remember Lemonhead’s – the hard candy that tastes just like you’re sucking on a tiny lemon, aka the worst candy in the world (Not debatable. If you believe otherwise you are just wrong. Sorry about that.) What’s more, he’s a Blackhawks fan. BLACKHAWKS. My Bruin’s yellow & black heart weeps.
Why does he have such a weird smirk? Why does he have bedroom eyes? WHY DOES HE HAVE HAIR? He’s a lemon. This terrifying beast will not only haunt my nightmares, but the nightmares of generations of (bad) candy lovers to come.
But that wasn’t the abomination to be set free to feast upon the good people of earth.
Behold, “Happy” –
This little Pandora’s box is the newest mascot for the McDonald’s Happy Meal, every child’s favorite path to diabetes.Who knows, maybe McDonald’s is making this as scary as possible to get kids to STOP eating Happy Meals. Or maybe they are actually Satan. I’m going with Satan.