Sometimes Nightmares Come True

Imagine that you are floating high in the air, looking at a vast cityscape below you. It is beautiful. You feel that you are on top of the world. Despite the precariousness of your position, for some reason you know that you are safe and couldn’t possibly fall. What a nice dream! Then imagine that suddenly whatever was holding you up vanishes. Imagine how much pee is now in your pants. Imagine that you aren’t dreaming after all, but are standing on the Skydeck of the Sears Tower and that shit is CRACKED.

The powers that be can say “Oh no worries, guys, that’s just a protective layer and it’s totally supposed to do that!” all they want, but we all know the truth. Nightmares are real and we need to prepare ourselves. Without constant vigilance, soon enough I’ll be losing all my teeth and being forced to take a test for a class I forgot to show up to for the whole semester and driving a car only to learn that the brakes don’t work and realizing that I’m naked in inappropriate situations. Please share your own nightmares in the comments so that we can help each other in this hour of need.

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About catweazle

Catweazle is an 11th century wizard trying to make his way through the modern world while living in a disused water tower with his pet toad.
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21 Responses to Sometimes Nightmares Come True

  1. Isn’t there something like this over the Grand Canyon now? Why do we have such a collective death wish, as a species?

  2. flanny says:

    Last time I went to the Sears Tower was in college, and my friends and I took inappropriate pictures of ourselves in front of a large photo of Mayor Richard Daley.

  3. welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

    I’ve always wanted to stand on that stupid thing, but now I have two reasons for not doing that. The first reason being that I have no interest in revisiting the Sears Tower.

  4. FRQ says:

    I want to thank everyone in this post for not calling that place the Willis Tower, because seriously fuck that shit.

  5. Everyone knows the best view of Chicago is from the Hancock restaurant’s womens bathroom. Everyone also knows that you go to the restaurant and buy one drink and it’s cheaper than the “tour” and you get the same view.

    BAM. FACTS.

  6. old man fatima says:

    Man, I’m pretty boring. In my nightmares I’m usually just late for things, or trying to use the bathroom but everyone is hanging out in there and nobody will leave. I have super low terror-expectations, apparently.

    • Yeah, I’ve only had actual, scary nightmares once or twice in my entire life. Usually it’s just the same ol’ standard-issue anxiety dreams–but I do have the “have to take a test for a class you’ve completely forgotten about” one a lot. It actually helps me dream lucidly at this point, because Dream Me always wises up and realizes how unlikely that scenario is.

    • mordonez says:

      Somehow I just had a dream that I was late to participate in a boxing match for which I was unprepared (which makes sense, I don’t know how to box in real life either). Late to a thing at which you’re going to get beat up—jeez nice job, dream brain.

  7. I’ve been having anxiety attacks all week and this FOR SURE AIN’T HELPING

  8. mordonez says:

    Speaking of nightmares, the Hancock now has this terrible idea called “TILT” where you hold on to some handles by the window, and the window then tilts out 45 degrees so you feel like you’re falling into an abyss.

    Intro price only $5

  9. artdorkgirl says:

    So, the last super vivid dream (which I texted Flanny about immediately) was that Flanny was living in this super cool, super weird apartment owned by a Dr. Reed (but not spelled the way you think it should be spelled, although I never figured out what the proper spelling was) and we discussed Louis Tomlinson (from 1D pot video fame) and his new tattoo of the American flag across his throat. I’m not sure what that means.

  10. Sota says:

    THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE.

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