First of all, I am about to link you to an article that can be found on MSN’s “Living” page. Please do not worry about my emotional health. It was sent to me by my older sister, and I can only assume that someone else brought it to her attention. We’ll find the weirdo that is reading MSN Living later.
Are you back? Good. Now comes the hard part. You are going to have to up your game A LOT this summer if you want to be anywhere close to getting on this kid’s level.
It’s time to look yourself in the mirror and ask some tough questions. Are you going to challenge any Push-Pop eating records? Are you going to learn to burp the alphabet backwards (excuse me for doubting if you can even burp it forwards). Are you going to watch smoke come off the poop?
Remember, he accomplished all this and much more in just a few days, and without even getting diarrhea on his pillow. Get out there and live, monsters. While you still can.