Are You One of the 530 People in the UK Who Bought Robin Thicke’s New Album?

Life can be hard for those who dedicate themselves to creative pursuits. The constant fear of rejection, followed by the constant actual rejection. The sacrifices of time and money. And if one finds success and acclaim, the desperate need to maintain it, to keep hold of the glory as it threatens to slip from your fingers at any moment.

Love, also, is a treacherous path. To find love is difficult, to keep it, an unending travail. When love is lost, winning it back can be near impossible.

In the face of all this hardship, one man tried valiantly to kill two birds with one stone: matching the commercial success of his previous album while simultaneously winning back the love of his estranged wife.

And he TOTES FAILED GUYS!

Paula sold only 25,000 copies in the US and, hilariously, 530 in the UK in its first week. But let’s get serious for a minute. Who are these 530 UK-ers? I want to hear their stories. Are they embarrassed now? Did they do it on a dare? Were they sad about the World Cup? Did they start smoking the wacky tabacky after watching that One Direction video? Are they really all just one guy who has a crush on Robin Thicke? Are they all Robin Thicke? The world may never know.

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About catweazle

Catweazle is an 11th century wizard trying to make his way through the modern world while living in a disused water tower with his pet toad.
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11 Responses to Are You One of the 530 People in the UK Who Bought Robin Thicke’s New Album?

  1. Casey says:

    This reminds of MLK’s famous quote about the moral arc of the universe bending toward Robin Thicke being a one hit wonder.

  2. Maybe all 530 live in one town and intend to conduct some kind of ritual.

  3. Wallflower says:

    Is Alan Thicke living in the UK? Or maybe vacationing there for the summer?

  4. artdorkgirl says:

    I’ve never been so supportive of a woman than I have been for Paula. You got out while the getting was good, lady. Way to go!

    • I also love that she’s intelligent enough to keep this private. Please, Paula, don’t come out with some Barbara Walters interview or E! exclusive. Just stay classy and let Robin implode on his on.

  5. HAHAHAHAHA I’m having a real schadenfreude moment here. His next album is going to be called “why are women so mean about my rapey songs?” or maybe just “wah” with a crying emoji

  6. nastyemu says:

    This post somehow managed to get the Growing Pains theme song stuck in my head.

  7. gnidrah says:

    Just like to speak for my nation, and the good news is all those people have officially had their passports removed.

    Seriously, I love when sales of things are so small you can picture what the pile of albums/books/tickets looks like. Like this: http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2013-02-20/danny-dyers-run-for-your-wife-takes-just-602-at-the-box-office

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