A half hour into the Germany v. Brazil game, and the Axis Superpower is up 5-0.  Ouch, y’all, this is painful.

(No, I mean GREAT!  It’s WONDERFUL!  Uber alles, everybody!)

Now, as your faithful German reporter, I am at a disadvantage right now, in part because I had to take a break from the internet for about a week while I was on vacation and have missed a few games.  I am also only following today’s match through the NY Times liveblog because, UGH, Univision now requires my Comcast password.  What a crock of Scheiße.  But I am proud to see our Hitler mutagen appears to be working as the footballers of the Fatherland approach the pitch with the fu(h)ror of a mustachioed He Who Must Not Be Named.  Good on ya, Germany!

Anyway, is everyone still following the World Cup, slack-jawed at Brazil’s stunning apparent apathy?  Is this all part of some Faustian bargain, or do we think that Muller is Mephistopheles himself?  If not, what else are you doing today?  I ordered a new sleeping bag for camping that I’m pretty psyched about.

About mrsberesford

Mrs. Beresford started out life as an accidental blackmailer (all in search of adventure and money) and can often be found hiding in cupboards or listening in on calls to the Home Office. She lives in San Francisco with several potted plants and Albert, her long-suffering valet.
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  1. I missed the game, but oof, I feel bad for Brazil. To be crushed that majorly at home has to hurt.

    I’m sort of still following–both of my teams are out (England and France, you are DEAD TO ME) (jk I still love and would like to visit you both someday), and I’ll definitely watch the final.

  2. FRQ says:

    I have nothing against Brazil, but last night I was looking through pictures of disappointed fans on Twitter with great amusement. I was wondering if there was a word for that, and realized the Germans had won twice that day.

  3. artdorkgirl says:

    Someone must have mentioned the war….https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfl6Lu3xQW0 (that’s a Fawlty Towers clip, btw…)

  4. I am still following because Holland. For some reason I was able to log into espn at work without a password? No idea why, hopefully it happens again today.

    That game was insane. It was like Brazil completely forgot how to football. I didn’t watch many Brazil games but from what I’ve heard they were rotten cheaters. Also, Nate Silver says statistically there are fewer penalties and yellow cards called against the home team. Karma maybe?

    I do want Holland to win, but I also don’t want Robben to dive everywhere. He’s kind of terrible about that.

    • nastyemu says:

      I was assigned Argentina, so I should root for them. However, their fans don’t appreciate how awesome Messi is so I kind of don’t want them to win, plus I love how the Dutch put the color orange on just about everything.

  5. old man fatima says:

    I was unable to watch, so I asked a friend at halftime what the score was. I thought she was joking, OBVIOUSLY, but then I started getting sympathy texts from people and she sent me a screen cap of the score. What in God’s name. I’m going to light my jersey on fire.

  6. flanny says:

    I was following along a little bit on twitter and the social medias but not giving it my full attention. And around 4:30 or so I looked at the score and was like, “Hold on, did this actually start at 3?? No??? This all just happened in the last half hour?????”

  7. catweazle says:

    I like to think that if Colombia had beaten Brazil they would have given Germany a much better run for their money. #RIPColombia

  8. summerestherson says:

    While I feel bad for Brazil and Brazilians everywhere, I thoroughly enjoyed the social media meltdown and all the subsequent sad Brazilian pictures.

  9. I skipped work and got v drunk and one of the goals that i think kroos got i thought was replay it happened so fast

  10. hotspur says:

    I have been watching here with no password. The commentary is in Spanish words, which I understand about twelve of, but the video helps you understand why they get excited:

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