Adam Levine is an even bigger douchebag than you thought.

If it wasn’t already official, it is now. Adam Levine is the worst.

Maroon 5’s (his) recent video shows Levine’s character stalking Behati Prinsloo’s character, unsuccessfully. He deals with this stalking frustration by rubbing meat blood all over himself in a meat cooler, hugging the meat in the meat cooler, and doing a pull-up. He’s also a photographer. The end of the video insinuates that once he breaks into her house, gets into bed with her and shows her his meat up close, she is so overtaken by his sexual prowess that she wants him to rub meat blood all over her, too. Neat!

Thank you, Adam and Behati, for offering yet another piece of media selling the idea that women really want to be stalked and overtaken by predatory lovers. It’s a message we weren’t getting enough of (if I knew how, this is where I would insert the jumps to Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey). Way to use your celebrity for the greater good. I may be laughing on the outside, but I am screaming underneath.

Do what I did: if you aren’t familiar with the song, watch the video with the sound off at first, and imagine what you think the music sounds like. Then turn the sound up half way through. Let me know how that works out for you.

Careful, NSFW.
http://www.etonline.com/music/151835_adam_levine_behati_prinsloo_are_creepy_as_hell_maroon_5_animals_video/index.html

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About marlasinger99

It's all true.
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21 Responses to Adam Levine is an even bigger douchebag than you thought.

  1. He deals with this stalking frustration by rubbing meat blood all over himself in a meat cooler, hugging the meat in the meat cooler, and doing a pull-up.

    This is the greatest sentence the English language is capable of producing.

    • taoreader says:

      Agree with Theresa. Also, what the f&ck is wrong with that guy? Get a therapist and tell her about your meat blood fantasies, not us, you freak.

    • marlasinger99 says:

      Haha – thanks, guys. And thank you for publishing my post, Theresa! It’s my first one, and I’m so excited! I’ll work on figuring out how to position the links better and get pictures up and stuff. Although I think it may have been divine intervention that I was unable to put a picture up for this one. Or was it, “Levine” intervention?? So gross.

  2. catweazle says:

    Oh darn, NSFW, guess I can’t watch this nightmare, what a shame!

  3. To be fair, I already thought Adam Levine was a PRETTY BIG douchebag.

  4. old man fatima says:

    This guy is a turd for sure, but you have it give it to him for making a career out of standing in the rain and looking like a penis. We all like to think we have integrity, but I would if I could.

  5. artdorkgirl says:

    But how does it compare with this?

    (not going to lie, I still like this song)

  6. mikaelajm says:

    “Duh Aficionado Magazine: Adam Levine is a nightmare”

    I have the saddest confession. I LOVED Maroon 5’s first record. As time has gone on and they’ve committed more and more crimes against pop music, I have been less and less willing to admit that. But here we are.

  7. hotspur says:

    Wow, that was a good horror movie with a soundtrack of string instruments playing a single angry note over and over again. Then I turned the sound on, like you said to… AHHHHHH!!! YIKES. No one is thinking here’s a great place for this song. Except Adam Levine. And maybe this guy:

  8. Commentatrix says:

    A while ago I watched Begin Again, which was a cute enough movie in which Adam Levine is perfectly cast as a douche. I feel like this video director was just trying to be sneaky about giving the people what they want, because everyone but Adam Levine knows that the people hate Adam Levine. And then when you turn the sound on, it’s like that moment when Adam Levine’s voice sneaks up on you from the radio, and you hate Adam Levine even more than at your resting hatred (which is already dangerously high).

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