Fresh off of the horrifying new of B T Cumbersmooch’s engagement, and my horrifying revelation that I watch and legitimately love the pinnacle of reality television, FYI channel’s Married at First Sight, I think that we as a family need to talk about that most sacred institution.
Specifically, they are casting for season two of this venerable program. I was going to do the ultimate TIFTT and marry a stranger on national television for us, but I am UNFORTUNATELY a citizen of the glorious People’s Democratic Republic of Canada. This gives us some options:
1 – We can nominate a single American monster to fill out the ridiculously long application form, and I will personally donate 20 Canadian dollars (more valuable than gold, basically) to your pre-ceremony booze fund. You’re really going to need a lot of it.
2 – We can conduct our own “social experiment” by having “experts” (commentatrix has the most say, as our blog’s beloved life coach / adviser) pair us up with each other and / or strangers for a month. Still working on where we would find these strangers. We could make online dating profiles and our experts can choose who we contact for a date? Work in progress, this one.
3 – Anyone with more than one animal in their house can have a wedding ceremony for two or more of them (we are an open-minded blog) and keep us posted with weekly progress updates / photos, and we as a family can vote on who stays married and who gets divorced at the end of the month.
4 – Wedding-themed Monster Meetup.
5 – All of the above.
Seriously, look at these happy couples. Pure Bliss. Definitely meant to last. I’m only halfway through the season, so as far as I’m concerned they’re all still married.