After christening this ongoing feature, I was only hoping for a little bit of Jeff news here and a little bit there. Nothing major, nothing, uhhh, earth shattering. My thinking was that we’d all have a few good smiles and warm ourselves in the glow of his Jeffly radiance every month or two.
So it was much to my surprise that just a week after the initial post, my newly established Jeff Goldblum Google Alert was already blowing up like an alien mothership that just came down with a case of the Goldbooms.
And, well…guys, I think you’re going to need to sit down for this one. Us Weekly and other celeb journals are reporting that Jeff just
trampled the dreams of hot-blooded women everywhere tied the knot with his fiancee Emilie Livingston! The couple apparently had some kind of special, secret do at the Chateau Marmont over the weekend, prompting Emilie to post a very telling pic:
Unicorns? Dom Perignon? Adorable little drawings of his and hers wedding outfits? Yes, it looks like this is a done deal (on a totally side note, the word “occasion” always looks like it’s spelled wrong, even when it’s right. I checked twice you guys).
Naturally, we at Homeless Monsters wish the new Mrs. Goldblum nothing but
a plague of velociraptors endless health and happiness.
One word of consolation (if there is any) is that a Jeff Goldblum married does not seem to stay married, per se. This is Jeff’s third time at the hitching post, so there’s always hope that life will find a way.