Gilmore Girls For the First Time

It’s hard to imagine what I was possibly doing while every other girl my age was watching Gilmore Girls.  Marching band? Listening to Alanis Morissette on repeat?  Still watching TV with my parents?  It could be anything (except being cool and hanging out with cool kids.  I wasn’t doing that).  Whatever the reason, I somehow missed the boat the first time around.  Sometimes in life, however, you get second chances.  This is the story of one of those times.

First up: some ground rules.  I’m only a couple episodes into season 4 (The College Years!) so no spoilers on the rest of the series.  This puts me almost halfway through the series which I think is a good checking-in point.  I’ll also write a similar post once I’m finished and then we can talk about everything!  Next, I figured out pretty early on that Lorelai is roughly my age (in the first season she’s about 2 years older than I am now) so that made this a little weirder than I expected.  Finally, I always hate goody-goodies in TV shows, so sorry, Rory, but I sometimes roll my eyes at you.

Alright, first things first, what’s up with how lame all the boys are?  Is this a controversial opinion?  Should I be swooning over Jess, hoping I could somehow change him?  Is Chris supposed to be a hottie?  IS LUKE???  I get that Stars Hollow is a small town and sometimes the pickin’s are just slim, but I have yet to feel excited about either Gilmore girl’s prospects (except Jon Hamm, who was sadly featured in an episode that will be remembered only for not having enough Jon Hamm).

Torn between two douches…

So what’s the bigger crime for a teen heartthrob, being boring or being a jerk?  Dean later drunkenly asked, “Why didn’t she love me?” and I have some frank opinions!  Dean suffers from classic “too nice” syndrome which is really only a thing if you’re also too boring.  Young girls will always reject the nice guy in favor of the bad boy (even one as short as Jess!) because they’re craving excitement.  It’s not that nice guys finish last, it’s that boring guys are often confused for nice guys, and, Dean, you are both!  He also clearly never inspired much lust in Rory because he bought her a car and they only ever sat in the front seat (he didn’t REV her engine!).  (Side note: how much did Lorelai drop the ball on the safe sex talk??)  I was hoping for Rory to get with Jess just because she clearly had the hots for him and I was just hoping to see The Virginity Episode (why was I so excited for this? I can’t say.  Frankly, I think it’s weird how much I couldn’t wait for Rory to lose her virginity.  Double frankly, I can’t believe it still hasn’t happened!!!)  Jess really dropped the ball, swoon-worthy-boyfriend-wise.  Sure, he’s attractive and owns a leather jacket (bad boy alert!), but his real appeal was that he was also smart (sorry, Jordan Catalano!) and seemed to really GET Rory in a town of non-getters.  But then he became King of “You do your lame thing and then we can make out after” (it’s called the sober booty call, Rory, and you deserve better!).  If Rory were a real person, I’d tell her to spend at least the first two years at Yale single – pick up new hobbies! meet different types of guys! try dating Rory! Also quit driving home every weekend!  That’s not how you grow and get new friends!  Instead, this is a TV show and seriously, throw us an interesting dating bone here!!

As for Lorelai’s dates, I think I’m just confused.  No wonder she’s still single!  I get that Luke is supposed to be the charming boy-next-door who was right by her side all along!  He’s kind of an ass and not hot enough to get away with Gruff and Grumpy as a personality trait.  Sure, he fixes things around the house for Lorelai on her birthday and he’s always there when she really needs him, but I’m still not impressed.  Chris is supposed to be The One that Got Away, but I think Lorelai is actually going to come out ahead the longer she waits for him.  He’s much better looking in 2014 than he was in the show.  Also not much for a bad boy, kind of boring in fact.  His baby mama is the worst (which is saying a lot in a show that has Paris) so I get how annoyed Loreali is at how it has panned out (so far!!!).

As for the non-dating elements of the show, Sookie is a real delight!  At first, I was annoyed that they glossed over the early months of her pregnancy (really?? no morning sickness??? no good jokes about a chef with morning sickness?), but then I realized she was probably just cheerful even while feeling like garbage.  Side note: even Jackson is kind of lame, right?  Are there just zero fun, attractive guys in Stars Hollow??

Business idea if anyone living in Stars Hollow is looking to make a billion dollars: open a bar!  People in town clearly drink (shout out, Emily & Richard!!!) so why isn’t there somewhere great to pound some brews or for Sookie and Lorelai to toast cosmos while they talk very quickly about life?  You know Kurt and Taylor could out wine-snob each other!  Just a fictional business proposition.

As for the other characters, I like Emily if only because she’s a small step away from Lucille Bluth.  Paris almost makes the show unbearable for me (I considered stopping when I saw she would be in the college years too), but it seems like she’s actually mellowed out now that she got laid.  Poor Lane.  Your mom sucks, but you’re gonna be okay, Lane.  I know because somehow you found Adam Brody when Rory was still dating losers.  Also please go back to the purple hair.

Finally the biggest question of them all: what’s up with how much food they eat?  No one knows, but the only thing about it I found confusing was why Rory liked Indian food so much in a small town that clearly had zero Indians.  Speaking of, what’s up with all the straight white people?  I know it was Connecticut in the 90s and I should just play along, but they couldn’t get a token person of color for some background shots?  (No, Michel doesn’t count.)  I’m supposed to believe there are zero gay people in Stars Hollow?  I’d be up for a coming out episode!

So that leaves us with some questions heading into the second half of the series:

  • Will we see the Dragonfly returned to its former glory with Lorelai at its helm?
  • Will Rory ever meet a non-douche?
  • What the hell is up Luke’s ass and will he ever get it out?
  • What will Sookie & Jackson name their son and could he possibly be the one cool guy in Stars Hollow?
  • Can someone please hug Kurt?
  • Who will finally punch Taylor?
  • Why hasn’t anyone punched Paris yet??

Stay tuned!!!

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About collin0truckasaurus

Truck is a fan of cheeseburgers, gifs of cats, and saying the F word. She has lived a bunch of different places but the internet is by far her favorite. Her main complaint in life is that food noted as "spicy" on a menu is never spicy enough.
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25 Responses to Gilmore Girls For the First Time

  1. nastyemu says:

    How are you in season 4 already? I’m on like episode 5, and I kind of stopped because my wife got impatient and watched a bunch without me even though she’s seen them already. So now I’m watching Better Off Ted again.

    • I’ve been trying to think of the real answer to this. Because you’re a dude, maybe? Also I leave it on in the background while I’m doing other stuff. Also Mr Truck was out of town for awhile during season 2ish.
      Also Better Off Ted is a great great show and I’m so sorry that Lem and Phil didn’t get a spinoff.

  2. facetaco says:

    Having never seen this show, I’m just going to say Gilmore should avoid Sam Winchester altogether, because he is the worst Winchester.

  3. catweazle says:

    Oh my god Truck I have so many responses to this! First and foremost is HOW COULD YOU HATE PARIS?! I mean I guess I have grown to love her more over time than I did the first time around and she does get better in the college years but I just love her. She balances out Rory’s “I’m perfect and everything in my life is perfect” stuff really well. As for the boys…

    Dean is not “too nice.” Dean is a douchebag wolf in niceguy sheep’s clothing. He’s super possessive and insecure about how much smarter Rory is than him and he’s just the worst! He is by far the worst love interest any female character ever has on this show. Though in the first season he is not full-fledged terrible yet and you’re just happy Rory has a cute boy to kiss so it’s easy to overlook at first.

    Jess I cannot be unbiased about because I was a teenage girl when I watched this show for the first time and I loooooved him. I can see that he is often a jerk but I still think he has a heart of gold and with some growing up he would make a wonderful love interest for someone like Rory. Also he gets bonus points for tormenting Dean because Dean deserved it.

    Christopher is kind of awful too and definitely Lorelai should not be involved with him and he’s not cute enough to get away with being the manchild that he is. Also I don’t think enough of a big deal is made of the fact that Christopher spent so little time with Rory for the first 16 years of her life that it was a HUGE deal to her that one time he slept over in season one. Ugh! What kind of dad are you??

    Luke is not really cute, I will agree, but he’s a curmudgeon with a heart of gold! Which is also how I hope people see me. I think lumbersexuals aspire to be Luke. And I just like him and Lorelai together in any capacity. They bounce off each other well.

    Lane actually has all the best love interests on this show, which is good because she is the best. I think Sookie and Jackson are a good couple but Jackson can be a little cartoony. I like Emily though she does some awful stuff over the years, and Richard needs to die in a fire.

    I could keep going and going and going but I’m going to cut myself off here!

    • catweazle says:

      Oh also the Toast article about how Rory and Paris should have ended up together makes some very convincing arguments.

    • nastyemu says:

      As a guy I am very biased, and I haven’t seen that many episodes, but so far all the guys on the show are THE WORST.
      Hating Paris is completely understandable but I love her so much. A google search for “Paris Geller gifs” is very rewarding.

    • Oh man, I could not agree more about Dean! I was trying to go easy on him but you’re right. He’s the “nice guy” who spends all of college complaining that girls never go for a “nice guy” like him while saying douchey stuff and the like.
      I probably would have swooned over Jess if I had watched this as a teenager too. Like I said, as Lorelai’s age, I’m just over the “bad boy maybe I can change him” nonsense.
      And yes, Luke and Lorelai work well together and are probably MFEO, but he could be cuter.

      • Part of the problem with Dean was that he was jealous and jerky but also totally boring, but my main problem with him was that he was just so dumb. He had zero ambition and I really just wanted something so much better for Rory. Jess was a jerk too but at least he had read a book before.

    • I am on the same page with Jess. Even though while I’m rewatching I can totally see that he’s a jerk and the worst, I also still love him because I loved him when I was 16. I wanted a Jess when I was 16. He abandoned her and said nothing! But he’s Jess! So I like him.

      I thought I hated Dean only because he wasn’t Jess when I first watched the show, but after rewatching I realized that Dean is terrible. He gets possessive and jealous. He gets mad at her for not saying “I love you.” He’s boring. Overall he’s just awful. I just got to the mid-part of season 4 this weekend and I had to walk away because I hate what’s coming up.

      And yes to Lane and love interests. DAVE. Dave is the only one to survive my adult rewatching.

    • summerestherson says:

      Y’all I am very concerned about all the Jess apologists around here. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. PLEASE LOVE YOURSELVES. DO NOT ACCEPT JESSES INTO YOUR HEARTS OR LIVES.

      Jess really, really, really got under my skin, even as an adolescent.

    • Erika says:

      Paris is ridiculously annoying but I still love her for some reason. I also really like Luke. I feel like I identify with him the most.

      I find Rory whiny much of the time, and Lorelai is a much bigger asshole than I think most fans of the show will admit. There are times when she’s such a dick to her parents when what they’ve done is relatively innocuous and/or what they did was so long ago she really could learn the benefit of getting over it. If I knew Lorelai in person, knew her history, and saw how she treated her parents, I would conclude that she’s incredibly ashamed of getting pregnant as a teenager and directs that shame and self-hatred toward her parents instead of coming to terms with it. I don’t know what the writers intended with her behavior, but that’s how it comes across.

      There’s also an element of rich, beautiful white people problems in the show that, now that I’m on the last season, really grates. Hopefully this isn’t too much of a spoiler, but Lorelai goes off on a tangent at one point about how “hard” it is to get married (at someone’s wedding, no less), and it’s just like, yeah, you meet all these attractive men all the time who immediately ask you out despite the fact that you’re a 30-something single mother in a small town. Poor you. You have it so hard trying to find love.

      Officially the absolutely worst thing about the show: The French guy’s accent. I feel like he’s a black Inspector Clouseau.

      • I agree on all of these points! Lorelai is a full adult and sometimes it’s just like “grow up already!” especially when you realize that her parents’ big complaint is that they want to be more involved in her life and all they ever really did to her was be rich and give her everything and have high expectations of her. When her mom got sad that she didn’t tell her about her engagement to Max, I really felt for her. That’s super sad!

  4. Sota says:

    This is my rewatch show that I am saving for this winter when I get snowed in for 3+ months. With the way things are going that might turn out to be this week. I haven’t watched GG in forever…here’s hoping that it holds up and doesn’t hit the insufferable territory that Dawson’s has under rewatch. I couldn’t get through even 4 episodes of rewatching that.

    • catweazle says:

      I have watched every episode of Gilmore Girls at least three times, including the dreaded last season. The earlier seasons I’ve probably seen closer to 10+ times and it holds up very well.

    • It holds up! And I honestly think season 4, aka the first college year, is really good at the beginning (then we go through all the Dean crap that I hate).

    • I’m curious to hear what other people think who have rewetted it as an adult. Now that I’m her age, I found myself getting upset with Lorelai quite a bit. The way she handles everything with her parents was so much more upsetting to me as an adult.

  5. Sota says:

    Truck – Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Logan.

      • (SPOILER SPACE FOR TRUCK)

        Logan before he and Rory became a thing was the best. I really liked him. Then they got together and ick.

        • catweazle says:

          *MORE SPOILERS*

          Logan is constantly doing this thing that makes my skin crawl where Rory is mad at him about something and he argues with her until she agrees that she has no reason to be mad. GASLIGHTING 101! Like in their very first interaction he actually tries to convince her that it’s ok for him to be condescending to Marty because he hired him as a bartender once and this gives her a lady boner. GET IT TOGETHER RORY!

    • oooOOOOooo I can’t wait to hear my thoughts on this Logan fella too!!!

  6. summerestherson says:

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