We’re nearing the end of January and that means lots of people are abandoning their fitness resolutions. So let’s check in.
How’s your vaginal weightlifting going? Lifted anything good lately? Like your morning cup of coffee? Your alarm clock? Or are you still working on lifting your cell phone? Baby steps, amiright ladies??
But wait, are you NOT practicing the ancient Taoist art of “jade egg vaginal strengthening?” Huh, weird.
You haven’t even heard about it? Well, let’s meet Kim Anami, sex expert and person who lifts surfboards with her ladyparts, and she can explain it.
From her website:
Five thousand years ago, genital strengthening was considered a necessary life skill…In the ancient Taoist system of sexual practices—where sex was seen as medicine and a pathway to enlightenment—pelvic weight lifting was an essential part of their health regime…Women practiced the lifting with a jade egg. In the Chinese system of medicine, jade was thought to have healing and balancing effects on the female reproductive system.
So, basically, you tie some string to this jade egg, stick it inside you, and then tie something on to the other end and try to lift and hold it up….
Anami has dubbed this “vaginal kung fu,” a name that has absolutely no hint of cultural appropriation, nope, nosiree.
In an effort to gain awareness for “vaginal kung fu” (and presumably for her “salon” where she can teach you how to lift things for yourself, all for two easy payments of $275!) she’s traveling the world, liftin’ thangs left and right, and tagging it all #thingsiliftwithmyvagina.
According to Anami’s site, the world record holder for vaginalifting is a Russian woman who lifted 31 POUNDS. So, I guess we all know what we can look forward to at the end of our training. You may one day be able to lift a small pet or toddler. That’s really gonna free your hands up to get some stuff done around the house.