Oscars Fashion Rundown

Last night’s red carpet was actually pretty good, even though so many actresses wore white/light gray/pale pink/etc. that it started to get boring. Case in point:

I’ve fallen asleep. (I mean, she looks fine. Still. Zzzzz.)


Emma was there for me, though. That color is hard to pull off, but she’s doing it.

 

The dress is classy and super flattering and something I’d totally wear myself, had I more money and a personal trainer, but I really wish she’d done something different with her hair and makeup. The slicked-down center part isn’t doing it for me, and this look is screaming for some bright lipstick.

 

1. Points for the color!

2. She JUST had a baby. Hot damn.

3. That necklace is terrible.

 

J Lo being J Lo. Her consistency is comforting.

 

She is DRAPED IN PEARLS like a magical sea goddess. Pictures don’t do this dress justice; she looked beyond incredible on TV.

 

Great dress; I eagerly await the day she does something different with her hair.

 

“Guys, it’s VALENTINO. I thought I was safe! Why do they keep doing this to me? It’s because I’m pregnant and too tired to fight back, isn’t it? Oh well. At least I can eat all the fancy desserts at the Governor’s Ball in this thing.”

 

This is weirdly matronly for something showing so much cleavage (said cleavage does look great, though, I have to say).

 

I’m only about 74% sure who Rita Ora is, but she looks pleasingly dramatic.

 

She consistently gets stuck with underwhelming gowns and I just don’t understand why. She’s gorgeous and on a hugely successful show! She deserves better than a peplum and limp skirt.

 

Oh, Goop. I like your earrings. Let’s just leave things there.

 

That belt should be a different color, right? Is that what’s off here? Because something is. Her hair looks awesome like that, though.

 

She just had TWO babies, and looks incredibly lovely, but this dress really needed to be a color. ANY COLOR.

 

She looks nice. He, bless his heart, is not pulling off that facial hair.

 

SO MUCH WHITE/SILVER/ETC. This is pretty on her though, but, just as with Dakota Johnson, I look forward to her eventually changing up the hair. That blond is so harsh.

 

Even Gaga wore white! And forgot to take her gloves off after doing the dishes.

 

Simple and pretty. Sometimes that’s all you need.

 

Not in love with that bodice and what it’s doing to her chest, but I like the color and general floaty-ness.

 

Like the pattern; do not like the sports bra effect.

 

This is pretty foxy, and good for her for picking something so different from everyone else.

 

Maybe my least favorite of the night. The bodice is lumpy, the skirt is too shiny, and the non-color totally washes her out. Sorry, Felicity.

 

My queen.

 

This could’ve been better, but it also could’ve been much, MUCH worse. Also, I didn’t realize that she is FIFTY-FOUR YEARS OLD. Please, Julianne. Please tell us your secrets.

 

“Hey, someone had to show up to this thing looking completely bonkers.” You’re right, Solange, and thank you.

 

IN YOUR FACE, VERA WANG. (Yes, I’m still upset on Rosamund’s behalf re: her Golden Globes dress.) That said, I hate those shoes, and wish the skirt wasn’t slit.

 

She’s pulling this off as well as anyone can, I guess.

 

Remember when Meryl would always show up in fancy pajamas? I don’t know why she decided to go fierce, but I love it.

 

I’d love her dress if it didn’t have those hip…things, and that suit is making him look very stiff, but still, they’re cute.

 

She looks elegant, as ever (and thank you, Sophie, for wearing awesome shoes that don’t match your dress–I really hate the matching shoe trend)…and he looks like the maître d’ of the fanciest restaurant in town. Sorry, guys. I’m never a fan of the white jacket.

 

Oprah always looks the same, and in her case, the same = good. She knows what works for her.

 

This one’s for catweazle. Joanna looked fab!

 

This this very “hey, give me a guest spot on Game Of Thrones,” which is not a complaint.

 

I love this, even though the lining is collapsing a bit on her in the right-boob area. It’s so romantic, and that color is unusual and stunning on her. My complaint about slicked-down, center-part hair still stands, though.

 

Oh hello, fancy seeing you here.

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16 Responses to Oscars Fashion Rundown

  1. artdorkgirl says:

    This is pretty much what we said watching the arrivals. And I agree with you about the matching shoe thing. It’s very prom-y, which I guess the Oscars are, in a way…

    That said, Sophie’s pulling off a very daring slit there! I like the dress, but I thought the embellishments were a bit off. I would have liked something less industrial looking.

    • I’m seriously starting to wonder if someone with a shoes-dyed-to-match business is blackmailing all of Hollywood’s stylists, because EVERYONE is doing that all of a sudden, and it’s driving me crazy.

  2. flanny says:

    They’ve finally perfected the recipe for organic vegan tanning lotion so Gwynnie can have that straight-from-the-late-90s glow!

  3. Keira should’ve worn her after-parties dress to the ceremony:

  4. mikaelajm says:

    My only real fashion-related comment is how unacceptable ScarJo’s necklace was, but OMGOMGOMG EDDIE REDMAYNE YOU WERE AMAZING AND PERFECT AND GORGEOUS and I am SO HAPPY he won.

    • gnidrah says:

      I see a posh Brit named Ed crying and all I can think of is my ex 😉
      (that is in no way a condemnation of Redmayne, I’ve just been dying to make this ‘hilarious’ ‘joke’ all day!)

  5. Of Gwenyth’s dress I said, “Oh good, she’s finally getting to rewear that bridesmaid’s dress she had to buy in 1992!”

  6. Sota says:

    ScarJo is totally going as a fembot super villan in that dress/necklace/haircut combo.

    • welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

      Love the color of Anna Kendrick’s dress and it had great movement when she was walking on the stage.

      Dakota Johnson and ScarJo looked lovely.

      I will never understand peplum. Why anyone wants to add weight to their hip area is beyond me.

  7. Your Kiera captions always make me so happy. Poor Kiera.

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