Guys, I apologize. I know we here in the Homeless Monster community don’t typically like to delve too deeply into metaphorical excrement, but prepare to positively WADE IN IT today. You guys remember this human skid mark? Of course you do. But what you might not have known is that shit smear has a brother, this pee stain right here. (I don’t want to contaminate our web home with their actual feces, er…faces.)
On Wednesday, NYC Mayor’s Office spokesperson Amy Spitalnick dared to challenge the accuracy of a story published on stool sample’s “journalism” website. Misogyny ensued.
First, Thing One mansplains the basics of e-mail etiquette:
Thanks for your email. You believe our story was inaccurate and have demanded a correction. Totally fair. We are going over the transcript now.
What Bedford complained about was your tone, which, I have to agree, was whiny and annoying, and I say that in the spirit of helpful correction rather than as a criticism. Outside of New York City, adults generally write polite, cheerful emails to one another, even when asking for corrections. Something to keep in mind the next time you communicate with people who don’t live on your island.
Then, shortly after baby bro forwarded him that super clever e-mail (no doubt in search of a sweet hit of that never-not-unhealthy brotherly approval), Thing Two proceeds to destroy the vestiges of our innocence with the most flummoxing ‘reply all’ fail since that one episode of The Newsroom:
Great response. Whiny little self-righteous bitch. “Appalling?”
And with such an ironic name, too…Spitalnick? Ironic because you just know she has extreme dick-fright; no chance has this girl ever had a pearl necklace. Spoogeneck? I don’t think so. More like LabiaFace.
Off to cry forever. Someone please follow this up with something cute because I’ve got some major dick-fright, all right. (The Carlsons are the dicks. You guys get it.)