That’s Your Boyfriend: Sexy Hamburglar

Oh man, just look at your boyfriend.

I know that at first you were unsure. “He’s a criminal, for goodness sake! He’s addicted to fast food! I can’t let myself fall in love with the bad boy, NOT AGAIN!”

But soon, his charm (and the constant supply of burgers he provided you with) softened your resolve. Those eyes flashed from behind his mask and that was it. You were a goner.

I mean, yes, it’s true, he’s already married with a kid, but he PROMISED YOU he was getting a divorce.

Soooo…mazel tov to you and your boyfriend!

I’m looking forward to the wedding with officiant Mayor McCheese  and Grimace serving as best man. Are you going to have this monstrosity as your maid of honor?! Oh I’m so excited for you two!!!!11!


About summerestherson

Summer Estherson has uncles enough to fill all of Cheapside.
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11 Responses to That’s Your Boyfriend: Sexy Hamburglar

  1. flanny says:

    Are we supposed to believe that McDonald’s HQ didn’t communicate with its twitter team about who is in their commercials? You know who that is, McDonald’s twitter! Stop foolin’. Geez!

  2. artdorkgirl says:

    I was really unsure of the relationship at first, but he IS a provider, and I need that right now.

  3. I love the That’s Your Boyfriend series!!!
    What’s not to love? He’s a little bit dangerous and a little bit free cheeseburgers!

    • summerestherson says:

      I hope Gabe doesn’t sue me for stealing “That’s Your Boyfriend!” Hopefully he’s too busy on Brooklyn 99 to notice.

  4. nastyemu says:

    Wait, does he really share the stolen burgers? I always saw him as a selfish thief, not a hamburger Robin Hood.

    • old man fatima says:

      He is just trying to put food on his family! We’re in an economic slump, Emu, he had to take an unpaid internship in a new sector.

    • summerestherson says:

      That was surprisingly down-to-earth for James Franco! Good on you, JF.

      (While I was in the middle of reading that article, there was a link to another article called “What James Franco Got Wrong About McDonalds.” What a world we live in!!! We can actually click to read response think pieces before we are even done reading the original think piece!!!! #blessed)

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