It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that Scott Patterson (aka Luke Danes) recently went on a podcast called “Gilmore Guys” and made some shocking declarations. The aforelinked article lists the top seven tidbits from the podcast but I’m going to distill them here into the top four things that made me go “LUKE NOOOOO!”
1. He tried to instill false hope in us about a potential Gilmore Girls renunion.
I will say this, there are talks going on at the moment. I can’t really go into any details, but there is some activity. I’m hopeful, and I’m in. I think it would be a big event, and I think it would be a great fan celebration.
Let’s be real here. He has probably just been texting with the guy who plays Taylor Doose about throwing a Gilmore Girls themed barbecue at the local VFW. Which I would totally go to, but please don’t pretend there’s going to be a movie. Rory is married to Pete Campbell now, she’s clearly too big.
2. He is Team Dean
He was the original one. He was the most soulful and the most poetic. I think it was Dean. But Jess was so obviously the wrong one — he was so obviously the train wreck. He was the fling that she had to have. It was always Dean because he was so in love with her.
The English language does not contain the words to express how much I loathe Dean, so this is very disappointing to hear. Ever since I dated a guy who liked Dean and decided to ignore the red flag and just be happy he liked Gilmore Girls I have been very wary of any male who doesn’t see Dean for the turd that he is, because that guy turned out to be terrible. You’re on thin ice, Patterson.
3. Though he was in a relationship while Gilmore Girls was on the air, he claims Lauren Graham was totally his type
“I was seeing somebody the whole time. I was very stable in my relationship. It got me through [the show] sane,” he said. He added, though, that Lauren Graham “was my kind of gal: pretty, smart, funny.”
Nice try, pal, but we all know the truth!
4. He is a confessed prankist
I’m a bit of a practical joker. I used to like to put shaving cream in Milo’s shoes. I once nailed Milo’s shoes to the floor. I used to put vaseline on Milo’s toilet seat in his trailer. I knew he could take it. He’d get back at me, but I’m not going to tell you how.
Not that Milo Ventimiglia didn’t probably deserve shaving cream in his shoes but come on, guy. Who do you think you are, George Clooney? I do have some theories on how Milo got back at him, though. Please vote for what you think is likeliest.