As I mentioned in the introductory post, my love of doughnuts has its source in sprinkled doughnuts from the grocery store, so I thought a good way to start off this series is with my Platonic ideal of a doughnut. When I think of doughnuts, grocery store sprinkled doughnuts are what I think of. Unfortunately, the family-run, Spartan-branded grocery story where my mother shopped is a thing of the past, replaced by some weird off-brand grocery store. My mom shops at Kroger now. Also she lives 80 miles from me. So getting my childhood doughnut would be impossible. In the town where I now live, the only grocery game is Meijer. When I lived in Boston, I dreamed of Meijers! They are like a Walmart or a Super Target but better because I feel sentimental about them. Meijer is the place you (I) went in college when you (I) were (was) drunk to take pictures of yourself (myself) riding tricycles. They always have a mechanical horse for the children to ride. Did I drunkenly ride that horse? I don’t remember, so it seems like a good bet. Also, I once threw up there as a small child and my family still always brings it up. “Clean up in aisle four.” Hahaha, very funny, Flanny family! I had the chicken pox! Why’d you even take me shopping!?!
The Meijer I live near now is not the best Meijer. The bread aisle is so weirdly laid out in, like, a strange alleyway, and the frozen food is right by the underwear. I’ve been shopping there exclusively for almost a year, and I still have no idea where anything really is. Also, not impressed by the produce quality. But they always have cold Sam Adams and a good selection of cheap wine, and often their Camembert is buy one get one. You take the good you take the bad, I guess.
This Meijer has a small baked goods area, but it’s mostly prepackaged stuff that probably comes from an off-site bakery. I buy their four-pack of banana-nut muffins fairly often. And lots of times I’ll buy their big six-pack of assorted doughnuts (plain, cinnamon sugar, and powdered sugar) and freeze them individually to eat later. They actually keep really well in the freezer, and take only fifteen minutes or so of sitting on the counter to unfreeze. But I’d never bought a doughnut from the display case because there are a lot of sticky-fingered, snotty-nosed children around here and I don’t trust them not to touch these doughnuts. But I risked it! FOR YOU!!
Who knows how many booger ghosts are on that doughnut? Because it was 4:45 on a Monday, the doughnut case was pretty picked-over, which I was expecting. But as you can see, they had both sprinkled cake doughnuts (my favorite) and sprinkled fried (“puffy” doughnuts I used to call them) doughnuts (no). Next to the sprinkled cake doughnuts are cake doughnuts with chocolate icing and a gummy worm sticking out of the center. Just thought you’d be interested.
And also happy to see that this single doughnut would only costs me 65 cents! And the day just got better when I got to the self check out and it rang up as only 50 cents! Go shorty, it’s your birthday! Gonna party like it’s your birthday! Gonna eat a doughnut like it’s your birthday! Only we don’t just eat doughnuts on your birthday! They’re an everyday treat.
I drove home, careful not to crush the doughnut with the giant tub of mayonnaise I also bought, and decided to just eat the doughnut right then and there instead of waiting until after dinner. I hadn’t been expecting much. I’ve been burned by grocery store doughnuts before, and this one had probably been sitting out for over eight hours.
But it was delicious! The motto of Meijer when I was in college was “A Million Reasons, A Single Store” and this was “A Millions Sprinkles, A Single Doughnut.” The amount of sprinkles on the doughnut was just right, and all of them stuck to the icing, which went down just enough of the sides of the doughnut and was not too thick. And look how the doughnut held up to biting!
I think my only criticisms were that the sprinkles themselves could have been a bit firmer. As I said in the comments of the ice cream post, I like my sprinkles to have a bit of a snap to them, and while these ones weren’t soft and crumbly mush, they lacked the firmness I like. Also, generally speaking, I like vanilla or plain white icing on my sprinkled doughnuts, so that the chocolate flavor doesn’t distract from the sprinkle flavor. All in all, a very good doughnut.
Tomorrow’s Doughnut (most likely): Louie’s Bakery in Marshall, MI