This weekend I watched The Warriors. For those of you who don’t know: one, you need to get some culture into your damn lives ASAP. And two, it’s about a young gang trying to make it home to Coney Island through other gangs’ territory while everyone is looking for them because they think they killed a dude who just fucking loves giving speeches. This movie was made during that sweet spot in imaginary gang cinema where society as a whole had realized that gangs often do something to identify themselves (wearing similar colours or badges, having similar haircuts, etc), and decided that in the future all gangs were going to wear hilarious matching Halloween costumes.
I obviously love everything about this movie, but I especially love coming up with backstories for these gangs. How on earth do you get a whole group of violent young men (and women, but the lady gang are pretty normally dressed women whose unifying trait is that they’re lesbiZZZZZZZZZ WAKE ME UP WHEN THEY ARE WEARING SUCTIONS CUPS AND FEATHERS OR SOMETHING) to all agree to wear the same ridiculous outfit every single day for the rest of their lives? How do you find multiple people who care enough about tourism or mimes that they all decide they’d like to wear nothing else ever again for the rest of their statistically short lives?
But that’s not what we’re here for! Forget the movie recs, forget the backstories! I want to talk about your gang. What do you guys care enough about that you’d like to never wear anything else ever again? Are you incredibly passionate about Dexy’s Midnight Runners? Can you not stop thinking about old timey baseball, but wish it were played by Juggalos? What would you wear and what would your weapons be? Who would be your #1 rival gang?
My gang, the Annes, would all have incredibly puffy sleeves and accidental green hair and we’d be packing broken pieces of slate. Our rival gang would wear rain barrels with straps and they’d have like 4 really jacked dudes in monkey suits who would throw them at their enemies.
The streets would never be safe.