So, innocently enough, during an evening of peaceful insomnia (not true – there is no such thing as peaceful insomnia – it is wretched) I decided to look at upcoming movie trailers. Because I suffer from denial, it failed to occur to me that I would be looking at disturbing trailers because it’s October. This was extremely helpful for my insomnia (again, not true). Here are five scary movie trailers, from “I’m never seeing this,” to, “I’m totally seeing this,” based on my impeccable taste.
The first one includes William Shatner, “infected elves” and a mythical Christmas horror creature named, “Krampus.” Good stuff:
Don’t worry, it came out October 2nd, so you’re good to go. What? You’ve already seen it? You own it? You sneaky little minx.
This next one has my favorite actor, Keanu Reeves. He is amazing in everything he does (true?). His timing and finessing of the English language is unprecedented, except for maybe by Dame Judi Dench. They should make a movie together. Last Exotic Marigold Hotel III with Keanu as the bell boy who’s really a successful entrepreneur (twist)? Anyways, “Knock Knock” is going to be amazing, and watching the trailer was a cathartic experience for me (not true):
Don’t open your door – I might ruin your life with my sexy schoolgirl costume! It’s raining outside! You deserve it! Girl power! #hillary2015
This one is called, “Cooties,” and comes out this weekend, unless it’s Monday and you’ve already seen it by now. I can’t stand Rainn Wilson, so am going to pass. But I know a lot of people like zombies, so here you go, zombie people:
I really like this next one, and almost posted it as my favorite, but I know my audience and wait until you see the favorite. But for this one, I learned the term “Final Girl,” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_girl which I think is cool. And, when I was growing up, Friday the 13th etc. were still a big deal. So, near and dear. And Taissa Farmiga is the bee’s knees:
Last one…hold onto your hats. I got chills several times while watching this, and then got them again watching it again (true). Given that I’ve spent the last few years hanging out with you guys, I’m pretty sure this is right up your alley. And I think there’s some guy in it that you like. If we lived near each other maybe we could go together. But since we don’t, let’s go separately and then talk about it, okay? I have a love/hate relationship with Guillermo del Toro that developed while in the middle of watching “Pan’s Labyrinth” when I realized it was (spoiler) not at all the lighthearted mythical tale I had convinced myself it going to be (denial). I don’t trust the guy at all, but that can only add to the fear I will feel watching his latest, right? Boo! Awesome.