Flanospooks for the Week

This week the stars will tell you what you’ll find in the tumble-down outbuilding you can only see from the back attic window of the spooky old farmhouse you purchased and are trying to flip.

Aries: March 21-April 19
A dead body, obviously! What else did you expect to find in a creepy outbuilding!?!?! I don’t even know why you went in there in the first place if you didn’t want to find a dead body!

Taurus: April 20-May 20
Dusty mason jars with something in them, but the liquid is too clouded to be able to discern any details.

Gemini: May 21-June 20
Jane Fonda VHS tapes.

Cancer: June 21-July 22
A piano missing four of its ivory keys.

Leo: July 23-August 22
Dolls.

Virgo: August 23-September 22
You thought you found nothing at first, until you kicked away some of the hay scattered across the floor. Then you found a trap door which you opened, revealing a packed dirt tunnel leading back toward the house. Three off-white candle stubs were on the dirt floor, so you lowered yourself down there and lit one of them with the last match in the book.

Libra: September 23-October 22
A shrine to Satan!!!

Scorpio: October 23-November 21
A box full of cash.

Sagittarius: November 22-December 21
Old timey children’s toys, including a rocking horse without a mane but with a real horsehair tail, and a whole row of tin soldiers.

Capricorn: December 22-January 19
An Aries’ dead body. 😦

Aquarius: January 20-February 18
Pizza buffet!!!!

Pisces: February 19-March 20
Poison buffet.

*Flanny is not a psychic and does not necessarily believe in psychics or astrology, but she reads her own horoscope every day just in case.*

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About flanny

Flanny was born and raised in a Detroit suburb, but tells people she's from Detroit without clarification because it makes her sound tough. She is not tough. Her favorite member of One Direction is Louis Tomlinson, and her favorite Agatha Christie detectives are Tommy and Tuppence.
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8 Responses to Flanospooks for the Week

  1. catweazle says:

    Please tell me this is one of the tapes!

  2. gnidrah says:

    Being a Taurean, and loving jars, I could only think of this:

    If you’re an Adam & Joe fan, I love you forevers.

  3. hotspur says:

    I have Hollywood on Line 3 — they want to option this week’s Flan-O’s for a horror movie starring Taylor Swift as the plucky Virgo, James Marsden as Satan, and whoever the modern-day Paul Newman is as the super-cool Sagittarius.

  4. taoreader says:

    An Aries’ dead body. 😦

    I’m not dead yet!

Comments are closed.