Canada just got got a whole lot better looking

Last night Canada elected a new Prime Minister. No matter how you feel about politics, his father (former PM Pierre Trudeau), taxation, or our broken electoral system, one thing is certain: Justin Trudeau is a god damned dreamboat.

After 10 years of Emperor Palpatine with Lego hair, I for one and happy to know that this is the face Canada has decided to put forward:

Nobody doubted that when Canada’s answer to JFK married a model, they would produce truly spectacular looking offspring. But this is honestly almost too much. Leave some good hair and bedroom eyes for the rest of us, Trudeau!

So let’s come together and put aside our political differences for a moment while we look at this man.

Let me tell you a story.

When I lived in Montreal, Justin Trudeau was my Member of Parliament. Everyone always asked me if I had seen him around, and I always answered that he probably spends most of his time in Ottawa and I’m sure he has very little time to schmooze with the Jon Q Taxpayers in Papineau (the neighbourhood in which I lived).

One lovely summer Sunday, I woke up around 11 and stumbled out to the sidewalk in front of my apartment in my pyjamas to drink a morning beer in the fresh air. I’d like to blame that on student life, but this is basically just how Montreal is.  Anyway, as I stood there, wearing neon leggings with different length legs (can’t say no to a sale!) and an old Celine Dion concert shirt with a hole in the armpit, my hair half-fallen out of the bun I put it in when I go to bed, I heard someone approach and turned to see Justin Trudeau.

For months afterward, my ex would try to imitate the strangled hooting noises I made as I raced back inside the apartment. Was this really how I wanted to present myself to a man who looks like an actual Disney prince, and is also in charge of representing my interests in parliament?? No, it wasn’t.

I only saw him in person one other time, when he led the neighbourhood St Jean Baptiste Day parade. I didn’t interact with him then either, because I was also wearing pyjamas and drinking a sidewalk beer. Because it was Montreal.


About old man fatima

They say that Old Man Fatima is over 400 years old, and that she stays alive by feeding on kids like you and me every Halloween. I heard she turns into an owl at night and flies around the neighbourhood looking for her next victim and that nobody has ever seen her blink.
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20 Responses to Canada just got got a whole lot better looking

  1. Kate says:

    You’ve captured my morning look to a T (shirt). And though I don’t like beer (that’s right get over it) I’ve been know to have a morning hamburger.

    Also I think this guy really is a Disney prince and their next movie will take place in Canada.

  2. old man fatima says:


  3. summerestherson says:


    • mordonez says:

      What else can we engineer along these lines? Perhaps Goldeneye-era Famke Janssen as the new Dutch PM?

    • old man fatima says:

      Thx! I can’t wait for the first photo of Trudeau hanging out shirtless with Obama, that’s going to be a record-breaker.

      • flanny says:

        Putin is probably already calling him for a shirtless pic with him thinking it’ll break the internet. But then all he’ll see on-line is the photo with Putin cropped out. Oh, Putin, you try so hard to be dreamy.

        • hotspur says:

          Haha, all I can think of now is Ivan Drago from Rocky IV saying “I must break you,” but instead of saying it to Rocky he is saying it to the Internet. And also he is Shirtless Putin, not Drago. But otherwise, exact same!

    • old man fatima says:

      Also, technically the head of state is the Queen. The PM is just the head of government.

  4. flanny says:

    I was like, “I’m sure he doesn’t really have Lego hair.” But then I clicked the clink. That is Lego hair 100%!!

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