Homeless Monsters Tournament of Hotties: Round Two Results

It seems like just yesterday I was struggling to think of 64 men hot enough to include in this tournament, and now here we are with just 16 hunks left! The results of Round Two were sometimes surprising, sometimes disappointing, and sometimes downright delightful. Let’s recap!

Comics and Sci-Fi Babes Division

Our number one seed Oscar Isaac took down John Cho without breaking a sweat, but will he find it as easy to defeat Michael B. Jordan in the next round, after his handy defeat of Zachary Quinto?

In the battle of the Sexy Avengers, Thor brought the hammer to the Hulk, meaning that Chris Hemsworth will be facing off against Tom Hardy (whose victory over Chris Evans deprives us of another round of Avenger on Avenger action).


British Hunks

It pains me to tell you all that the hottest man in this entire tournament did not survive his most recent bout. Yes, that’s right, Idris Elba took down Chiwetel Ejiofor. Goodnight, sweet prince (too soon?)! That means Idris will square off against John Boyega next, after John sent Mr. Darcy back to Pemberley. So much for age before beauty!

Meanwhile, Doctor Who fans could not scrounge up enough votes keep Samuel Anderson in the running and he was beaten by Jonny Lee Miller. Can Jonny scrape another victory against sexy wine connoisseur and defeater of JJ Feild, Matthew Goode?


Other Non-North American Foxes

Alfonso Herrera continued to Cinderella his way through this tournament, taking down the Outlander himself, Sam Heughan (I don’t know if his character is the Outlander but I assume so?). His next challenge will be against his countryman Gael Garcia Bernal, after Gael’s victory over Alexander Skarsgard.

And we have two Cinderellas in one bracket, with 14 seed Godfrey Gao advancing after dispatching David Tennant. But is he hot enough to take down number two seed Ewan McGregor? Rodrigo Santoro was no match for our Ewan, and has gone home to dream of Laura Linney.


Miscellaneous Studs

Only here on this blog could Jake Johnson defeat angel-from-heaven Jesse Williams. But how can something so wrong feel so right? The next round should be pretty hilarious, because instead of pretty-boy werewolf Tyler Hoechlin, Jake will be facing off against none other than The Rock.

In a turn of events I never could have predicted but which delights me to no end, Channing Tatum (who you may recall not even Jon Hamm could defeat) has lost at the hands of Michael Shannon. But fear not, the next round will not be devoid of Magic Mike cast members, as Joe Manganiello took out Adam Scott.


Voting for the Sexy Sixteen will commence on Monday!


About catweazle

Catweazle is an 11th century wizard trying to make his way through the modern world while living in a disused water tower with his pet toad.
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20 Responses to Homeless Monsters Tournament of Hotties: Round Two Results

  1. catweazle says:

    I am so embarrassed that I uploaded the wrong image for the Miscellaneous Studs results 😦

  2. artdorkgirl says:

    At least Tom Hardy is still in the running…otherwise I just don’t know if I could go on here…

    • Martinmegs says:

      I gasped when I saw he beat out our blog mom’s husband (is Chris Evans our blog stepdad?)

  3. collin0truckasaurus says:

    You can’t beat Jon Hamm and then lose to Michael Shannon. This tournament is filled with ridiculousness!

  4. flanny says:

    Every time one of these posts goes up I get scared that maybe Jake Johnson has been voted off. I thought it would be impossible, but this bracket is so topsy-turvey!

  5. summerestherson says:

    Silly girl, Sam Heughan is NOT the Outlander! His wife is the Outlander! He’s the Highlander! (Also, it is an actual tragedy that he is out of this race. Same w/David Tennant and Adam Scott.)

  6. welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

    I’m glad Johnny Lee Miller is still in the running. Bummed that Skarsgard is out.

  7. hotspur says:

    I am pleased to see we are headed to a Renton-Sickboy showdown.

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