Homeless Monsters Tournament of Hotties: Sexy Sixteen Part Four

And now, the final matches of the Sexy Sixteen! We’re really ending this round with a bang, as the two remaining pairs of the Miscellaneous Studs division could not be more hilariously mismatched if they tried!

Jake Johnson (1) vs. The Rock (12)

First off we have Official Boyfriend of Homeless Monsters, Jake Johnson. Of all the actors on Earth I would never have picked Jakey as the one to post a shirtless selfie of himself with his dog on Instagram, and yet I’m so grateful that he did!

I know we all love The Rock but I didn’t realize how much you horndogs LOVE The Rock! Warning: the following image may make you thirsty in any number of ways!


Michael Shannon (14) vs. Joe Manganiello (2)

Who knew so many of you either also have inexplicable crushes on Michael Shannon or know about my crush and want to humor me? However he got here, I’m so glad my baby is one of the illustrious Sexy Sixteen!

Figuring out how Joe Manganiello got to this point is not rocket science. He is certainly the sexiest of the Magic Mike strippers (shameful disclaimer: I have only seen the first one so I don’t know if somebody hotter was in the sequel but I doubt it), and he looks damn good holding a happy puppy!


Voting will close on Saturday at 11PM ET

About catweazle

Catweazle is an 11th century wizard trying to make his way through the modern world while living in a disused water tower with his pet toad.
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20 Responses to Homeless Monsters Tournament of Hotties: Sexy Sixteen Part Four

  1. I picked Joe Manganiello because he’s hanging with a King Charles Cavalier and those dogs are adorable.

    Basically I voted for the dudes with dogs.

  2. catweazle says:


  3. welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

    I didn’t vote between the Rock and Jake Johnson. I’ve never seen New Girl, so I don’t fully understand the love for that guy. I would have probably voted for the Rock, mostly because the cat in that picture has the best face, but I didn’t want to vote against your boyfriend.

  4. old man fatima says:

    That must be a very heavy cat, because the Rock’s arm looks like he is seriously straining and I bet he could lift some pretty heavy things no problem! What do you guys think that cat is made out of?

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