Holy shit, guys! We did it! We hacked and slashed our way through sixty-four brave competitors and are left with just two pillars of sexiness to choose between. When this tournament began back in March I had no idea what an emotional roller-coaster it would be. Thank you all for taking this sacred journey with me.
We had two very close matches in our Foxy Four, both decided by some last-minute votes. And I am very pleased to report that our Final Two is as BATTLE OF TWINS!
Oscar Isaac (1) vs. Jake Johnson (1)
Oscar’s path to the finals started smooth, with decisive victories over Sebastian Stan, John Cho and Michael B. Jordan.
Things got a little trickier in the Exquisite Eight, as Tom Hardy very nearly snatched victory from his sexy jaws.
And his Foxy Four battle was a dead heat until a couple of last minute votes pushed him ahead of formidable opponent Idris Elba.
Is he the fox of your dreams? The only stud who holds your heart? The babe who makes you feel strange new sensations in your bathing suit area?
And now, for the competition.
Would you believe that Jake Johnson barely scraped by in his first round match against Chris Messina?
Things turned around in rounds two and three, where Jake toppled two Adonii: Jesse Williams and The Rock.
Things took a dark turn in the Exquisite Eight and Foxy Four as inexplicable juggernaut Michael Shannon and past-his-prime hottie Ewan McGregor nipped at his heels. I was ready to write off our Jakey when Ewan took a late lead in the last round until an 11th hour turnaround saw him emerge victorious by a margin of one vote.
Can Jake beat the odds again? Do you prefer Oscar’s more human and attainable doppelganger? Can you just not resist his sweet, sweet dance moves?
But wait! I’m not through with you yet! While it is of course very important to determine who is the hottest of the hot, it is equally important to acknowledge the beauty of some of those we’ve left behind. Therefore, I have handpicked 25 competitors who were eliminated in the first two rounds who I believe deserve a second chance at glory (either because I love them or because I know some of you love them). Please vote for up to five gentlemen!
Voting for both polls will close on Thursday at 11PM ET!