How Was Your Weekend?

Mine was TOO SHORT. Did it totally fly by for anyone else? I got a lot done, though, and cleaned the apartment, which was desperately needed. Mostly I just can’t believe that it’s Monday again, already.

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About Theresa Couchman

Theresa Couchman was born in Upstate New York, went to school in Upstate New York, and currently resides in Upstate New York. She has a pair of impractical Master's Degrees and a taste for the pointlessly weird, and is occasionally funny on Twitter.
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47 Responses to How Was Your Weekend?

  1. catweazle says:

    Well my weekend started off with a bang on Friday night when my date stood me up. This, after he had already rescheduled on me once. Why are men?

    Anyway, the rest of it was pretty good. I didn’t do any of the cleaning I planned on but I did drink a bunch of wine and spent way too much time looking for GIFs for the Tournament of Hotties polls. And I listened to Alaska’s new album Poundcake and it is so fun! If you are at all a Drag Race fan you need to listen to the song “Slaytina” immediately. It’s like four minutes of Alaska making references to other Ru Girls in a robot voice.

  2. collin0truckasaurus says:

    My weekend was great!
    I was on vacation! I’ll write a Tourism for Weirdos post about it once I get a chance (it’s spooky!!!)
    We had a great time!!!

  3. FRQ says:

    I had a pretty good weekend. Friday night I saw Best In Show for the first time. I thought it was alright, but Fred Willard was amazing. Saturday I ran a volunteer project, which went really well, then stopped by a neighborhood Halloween festival. I was bummed because I missed the parade, but it was still great seeing a bunch of people dressed up in costumes. Yesterday was pretty mundane. I spent the day doing grown up crap and catching up on TV shows.

    BTW, I know this is super last minute, but I’ll be in Chicago this upcoming weekend if anyone is up for hanging out. My schedule is filling up, but I’m always happy to make time for Monsters.

    • catweazle says:

      I’m free for a Monster Meetup on Friday or Sunday! My glam class is playing on Saturday evening which everybody is welcome to come to but I 100% understand if watching a bunch of random amateurs playing David Bowie songs at a dive bar is not how you want to spend your time.

      • mordonez says:

        Additionally or alternatively, my class is at a totally ‘nother venue on Sunday, if you want to hear pretty good versions of tunes by Fiona Apple, XTC, Blondie, Joe Jackson, Frank Black, etc.

      • I could maybe squeeze in a sunday brunch!

        Also, that Saturday sounds amazing. I’m going on a date but maybe I can convince him to go watch amateurs play bowie?

  4. flanny says:

    I ran a 5K Saturday morning, and it was rough because the route was rediculously hilly. Obviously immediately following the run while I was red-faced and dripping in sweat, I saw a guy I’d had a crush on and made out with once twelve years ago. And he was very handsome and wearing a suit. I don’t think he recognized me, probably because he remembers me as very put-together and beautiful. I spent the rest of the day hanging out with friends and listening to my old prof who was a Pulitzer Prize finalist read some poems. She’s so good.

    Then basically the rest of the weekend was spent either at work or watching That Thing You Do. I even watched That Thing You Do at work for a little bit! It’s a good movie!

  5. hotspur says:

    I did what I set out to do, minus the fun parts. There is a coffee shop near me where every third customer is some jerk parked there for hours with a laptop, so that’s what I was. All Saturday and almost all Sunday. Not to brag (who I am kidding, this is definitely a brag) but I killed it. I wrote 23,000 words.

    (Okay, real talk, that is the humblest of brags, because 90% of the words need catastrophic revision. But the high-volume days are like the skeleton of the house! You throw up the skeleton without giving thought to what kind of plaster you’ll use on the actual walls or how you’ll wainscot the conservatory, etc. THAT IS HOW REAL BUILDERS DO IT, THEY ARE THOUGHTLESS.)

    Friday night was not part of the success story. I dicked around on Netflix because I did not want to face how much writing I was supposed to be doing. If I HADN’T wasted Friday, I would have hit an even 25k, but I am flawed.

  6. old man fatima says:

    My weekend was rough, you guys. Fatiman and I broke up 😦 Like, 30 times. It was totally out of left field for me, I was not expecting it at all. Everything was great and we were super in love, and then he went out for beer and came back crying and said that he needs to end things. I have a bad leg from a car accident and it’s gotten a lot worse lately – I have to go in for more surgeries at some point. He said that he wants someone he can be active and healthy with when he’s old and I’m already breaking down, and he’s afraid I’ll be in a mobility scooter when I’m old. A couple of hours later he came back crying again and said he couldn’t leave me and we’d figure it out, then like an hour later broke up with me again. It went on all weekend, it was so exhausting! Finally on Sunday night when we were “together” but he was acting really distant I told him he’s not allowed to do this to me and he needs to make a decision once and for all and stick with it. He moved out today. I’m totally gutted, but consoled by the fact that he cried a lot more than I did. I was just like “Have you thought about what this will do to Chompsky??”

    The good news is that I’m definitely getting my damn PhD now. He didn’t want to move to Ottawa, which is the only place I’d be able to do development work, so I wasn’t going to bother… but now I can! I’m going to head back to Montreal to upgrade some courses and then to Ottawa. Debating breaking my lease and finding a 1 bedroom or getting in a roommate for the second bedroom here. I haven’t seen anything good for 1 bedrooms, but I don’t know if I can handle how lonely this apt will feel without him here, even if there is another person in his place.

    • hotspur says:

      I am actually devastated by this news. And wait, you’re breaking down??

      What a rough patch, fatima. I am so, so sorry. This comes out of left field for me too.

      • old man fatima says:

        I appreciate that. He’s a grouch, which I loved, but to be honest it made me really lonely because he didn’t like anyone. It will be nice to get out in the world again, but at the same time I feel like we’re both going to regret this deeply for a very long time.

    • catweazle says:

      What the actual fuck??? Give me his address and I will track him down and punch him in the dick.

    • mordonez says:

      Well, crap. We’re all here for you, what with e-hugz and the whole thing.

    • martinmegz says:

      I can’t believe this. I’m actually tearing up reading this. That whole line of thought about growing old and being active is such fucking bullshit. How does being injured in a car accident offer any predictive information about what your health will be like forty years from now? It’s also such a random thing to fixate on. Is he just totally neurotic about everything? Ugh, good riddance Fatiman! Go fuck yourself!

      • old man fatima says:

        He’s not normally neurotic, I’m not sure where this is coming from. He definitely didn’t seem to actually want to do it, he was shaking the whole time he was crying to hard. He kept telling me I was perfect and he loved me, etc etc. I’m pretty bummed 😦

    • Oh no! And wow, what garbage reasoning. For all he knows, you’re going to get a bionic leg someday and be able to jump over buildings while he’s puttering around on his crappy old regular legs.

      • catweazle says:

        Or alternatively somebody, who can say who, might one day whack him repeatedly in the shins with a golf club, who knows why, and he could be the one riding a Rascal into his twilight years.

      • old man fatima says:

        Yeah, like if I do need to go in for surgery who knows what sort of crazy surgery it will be! They could replace my leg with a rocket.

    • collin0truckasaurus says:

      I’d just like to reiterate this douche broke up with you because you have a previously broken leg. You’re so lucky he showed his true colors this early. Are his eventual wedding vows going to be “in sickness and in health, so long as we both are healthy and active”? Douche.
      For real, though, I’m really sorry. No matter how much he sucks, it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

      • old man fatima says:

        Thanks everyone! I just got back from emergency wine with the ladies. I made sure everyone knew every single garbage reason he gave, so that *when* he feels terrible and realizes what he’s done and comes back to say he can’t live without me (AGAIN, because he already did this a few times this weekend) they can remind me why I’m much better off. I’m excited for all the dancing and wine nights and trivia and haunted corn mazes my future has in store.

    • flanny says:

      I don’t know what to say, so I’ll just type out what I’d say if you told me this is person.

      “OH NO, FATIMAAAAAAAAAAA!”

    • artdorkgirl says:

      How awful! How could he do that to you (and Chompers!!) If you want us to form a gang to beat the crap out of him, I volunteer!

    • welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

      How awful! I’m so very sorry to hear this!

    • This is such a bummer. Like, a real bummer. He sucks. Here’s a puppy instead.

    • gnidrah says:

      I know I’m not on here very much at the moment, but I want to say I’m sorry too. As you probably know I went through something not dissimilar and it’s horrendous, the worst period of my life. If you need anything, someone to rant at in a different timezone for example, then shout me.

    • Commentatrix says:

      OH MY EFFING G. What a complete idiot, I can’t even! I’m so sorry you had to go through this but agreeing with everyone else that this is the dumbest fucking line of reasoning I have EVER HEARD and you are better off. He doesn’t deserve to be named Fatiman and I hereby dub him just Man. Dumb Man.

    • mikaelajm says:

      jesus, fatima, I am so sorry (and sorry that I am late to this). I 100% co-sign everyone who has said how much better off you are, and of course how wonderful and amazing you are.

      my only other thought is, how cool that he can see into the future and know that he’ll be active and healthy infinitely into his future. he should try using that superpower for something worthwhile. or maybe not because he’s going to realize that that futurevision was flawed when catweazle and I (& the others) hunt him down.

      • mikaelajm says:

        just like, how convenient and delightful that you know you’ll never be subject to misfortune or illness or accident! the government should be using you as a weapon!!!

  7. Sota says:

    My weekend was pretty chill. I watched a bunch of tv, layed around a lot, slept, ate pizza, went to brunch, returned some purchases at the mall and generally was a blob.

  8. I watched all of New Girl season 5, which gave me so many emotions. Then I went dancing to 80s music and ate a burrito at 3am. I also worked for like 6 hours and almost quit my job because it was stressing me out so much.

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