Okay, first of all, I don’t really hate Anne Hathaway. She seems to mean well. I just think she’s pretty tone-deaf about the stupid things that come out of her mouth. She’s definitely not even the second-worst, but this is a call back to a regular Videogum feature that proved without a doubt that Gwyneth Paltrow is, in fact, the worst. Like how she is a “bad ideas factory” who gives impractical advice to the common women and does not think the sun can be bad for you.
There was a time when Anne Hathaway was being shoved down our throats like we were ducks and Hollywood needed more foie gras (sorry, that’s gross). But she was everywhere! And she was mildly annoying and pretentious so we got sick of her even though we could never get tired of someone more effortlessly charming, such as Jennifer Lawrence.
Then, as soon as she got her coveted Oscar, she disappeared from the spotlight and we got to forget all about Anne Hathaway and her haircuts and confusing accents and attempts to be self-deprecating by calling herself gauche.
Now she’s back in the news and I swear I don’t even pursue celebrity gossip but this latest interview is showing up everywhere I look. Apparently Queen Anne is reflecting back on her Oscar win not with happiness, but with bitter memories. From The Guardian:
“I felt very uncomfortable. I kind of lost my mind doing that movie and it hadn’t come back yet. Then I had to stand up in front of people and feel something I don’t feel, which is uncomplicated happiness,” Hathaway said. [Ed Note: No one is making you do anything! You chose to become a rich actress! Although I’m not clear on why you win awards for acting if you actually have to descend into madness for a role instead of just pretending!]
“It’s an obvious thing, you win an Oscar and you’re supposed to be happy. I didn’t feel that way. I felt wrong that I was standing there in a gown that cost more than some people are going to see in their lifetime [Ed Note: Her dress cost $80,000, does she really think this is how much we common people make in our lifetimes?] and winning an award for portraying pain that still felt very much a part of our collective experience as human beings.” [Ed Note: I have never seen Les Mis because I hate musicals, but is it possible she is overstating her contribution to humanity?]
“I tried to pretend that I was happy and I got called out on it, big time,” she added. [Ed Note: Yes, being fake is a big part of why you got called out] “That’s the truth and that’s what happened. It sucks. But what you learn from it is that you only feel like you can die from embarrassment, you don’t actually die.” [Ed Note: Ugh]
Side note: when the interviewer asked her where she sees herself in 25 years, she replied “Underwater? No, I’m just going to be staring in awe at my son.” See! She really does have good intentions, she just makes terrible jokes and has poor judgment with regards to the things she says out loud. Keep these thoughts in your head, Anne! People will like you more.