The Homeless Monsters Winter Survival Guide

Project Club will return next week (although you can certainly still report on any progress you’ve made here). I thought we could shake things up a little, because my friends, winter is coming.

I never look forward to it, and I’m dreading it even more than usual this year–the cold, holiday madness, driving in the snow, pitch darkness at 5 PM. Yuck. I thought it might be nice to help give each other ideas for beating the winter doldrums. I’ll start:

For dry, itchy winter skin: Peter Thomas Roth’s Cucumber Gel Mask

It’s a little pricey, but if your skin turns to pure dust, sandpaper, and sadness in the winter, like mine does, this stuff is AMAZING for soothing and moisturizing, and it will make you feel very fancy. I got a sample at Sephora and never looked back. (Sephora samples: very dangerous.)

 

For faking that cozy log cabin feeling: Fireplace For Your Home

Yes, I’m serious. This is playing on my TV right now. It’s super silly, but also adds the perfect amount of soft, warm light that makes my apartment feel less like an underground bunker in the evenings. And I have allergies and couldn’t handle a real wood fire even if I had a fireplace, so it’s perfect.

 

I don’t need to explain wine, do I? Bota Box is cheap and good and lasts forever in the fridge. I especially like their Shiraz, Malbec, and Nighthawk Black blend.

What about you? Please share your tips and products for getting through the dreary winter slog ahead, whether they’re for specific problems the cold weather brings, or just general things that cheer you up when the weather gets gross.

And for everyone in the South/California/etc, SCREW YOU, YOU JERKS. (Just kidding, I love you. Please share your holiday survival tips too.)

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About Theresa Couchman

Theresa Couchman was born in Upstate New York, went to school in Upstate New York, and currently resides in Upstate New York. She has a pair of impractical Master's Degrees and a taste for the pointlessly weird, and is occasionally funny on Twitter.
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15 Responses to The Homeless Monsters Winter Survival Guide

  1. collin0truckasaurus says:

    You know what I love about this blog? I read the first little bit and was thinking “Okay, once I’m done reading, I’ll just post a picture of wine because that’s pretty much the best way to make it through winter” but it’s LIKE YOU READ MY MIND!

  2. welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

    Having a remote start on my car is the best. Well, the best would be 75 degrees and sunny all year round, but the remote start comes in handy. If you live in a cold area, do yourself a favor, and get one.

    I went to Target the other day to stock up on some winter stuff. I mostly wanted to get hoodies, but they didn’t really have any warm ones. “Fashion” hoodies might have a time and place, but that place is not Illinois on the verge of winter.

  3. Sota says:

    Oooo I will have to check out that mask! That seems really nice!

    My survival items are heated seats in the car, a heated blanket or mattress pad for the bed, and a warm coat. Dressing for the weather is the #1 key to keeping me happy. As much as I would love to wear a cute slimming jacket, it is hella cold at the busstop and I am as happy as a clam with a puffy coat instead. Also! When purchasing a winter jacket, my advice is to get one that is mid thigh length or at least just below your butt because that way you sit on the coat when you get into the cold car instead of the cold seat.

    As far as winter activities. I plan at least 1 beach getaway in January or Feb to remind myself that there is sun and warmth out there, and it gives me something to look forward to. My in-town “getaways” usually include a saturday at modern art museum. They are usually bright and airy feeling, you can walk a bunch, and if you eat at the cafe you feel like its a mini vacation day. I have found it to be quite a wonderful respite.

  4. martinmegz says:

    Well I’m not going to talk about my winter because it’ll make you resent me. So I will take you up on your offer to talk about project status, because for the first time ever I have a positive update. Last week I said I restarted my gym membership, and so far I went on Friday, Monday, and Wednesday, and I’m going tonight!

    My gym is actually a circuit training studio, so it’s classes only, you can’t just wander in and work out. There are ten weight stations that we alternate with sprints on the treadmills and they play loud music so an hour goes by fast. The one problem is that I’m seriously the only person at this gym who doesn’t look like I’m auditioning for the role of beautiful super-fit twentysomething in a movie. It’s a real “one of these things is not like the others” situation and the damn place is filled with mirrors to remind me of that fact. But I’m paying for the monthly unlimited pass so that forces me to show up because I’m losing money every day I don’t go.

  5. hotspur says:

    Winter is rough because it gets dark at 4:55 and there’s usually a week where I need to run a space heater. On the plus side, it being cooler means biking to work makes me less sweaty. This past weekend, though, it rained? Which really threw me for a loop, and we can probably expect that to happen once or twice more before spring returns. Winter is a VERY mixed bag of ups and downs, you guys. Not the easiest row to hoe.

  6. catweazle says:

    CATWEAZLE’S “SPECIAL” HOT CHOCOLATE

    -Dump 1/2 packet of Swiss Miss cocoa mix (or a couple of spoonfuls of fancy cocoa powder if you’re a snob) into a mug
    -Fill mug halfway with boiling water
    -Fill half of remaining space with Bailey’s or cheap Bailey’s knockoff (Carolan’s is my go-to)
    -Top up with some combination of the following: peppermint liqueur (Peppermint Mocha Kahlua is a good choice if you can find it), cinnamon liqueur, whipped cream flavored vodka
    -Add a splash of brandy
    -If you are smart and bought the Swiss Miss with the separate packet of mini-marshmallows, dump half of them on top (save the other half for your next drink, which you will use the remaining half of the cocoa powder for)
    -GET WARM AND CRUNK!

  7. lahockeyface says:

    1) Find winter clothing.
    2) Stare at it wistfully.
    3) Put on a long sleeve jersey every three weeks and then regret it while sweat pools around your body because everyone has the heaters on full blast. I know, 50 degrees can sometimes be almost uncomfortable.
    4) Summer starts immediately after Mardi Gras. Start hoping for death.

  8. Erika says:

    I’m on a mission to save money and lose weight, so I don’t get any cozy fall/winter solutions until mid-November at the earliest when my diet ends. And I’m doing my best not to turn on the heat until absolutely necessary, but being unemployed seems to be helping with that since I can tolerate the house being 68 degrees, compared to when I’d get home from work freezing due to my old office being kept at frigid temperatures year round. Also my Chewbacca jacket helps with warmth. His pelt is at least as warm as a tauntaun and smells better.

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