Flanospooks for Your Weekend

Wondering what’s in the stars for you in the afterlife? Wonder no more, because here I am with this weekend’s Flanospooks. They’re like horoscopes, but they tell you what you’ll find in the next pile of leaves you leap into!

Aries: March 21-April 19
A skull. Is it human? Is it animal? Who knows.

Taurus: April 20-May 20
Leaves, just leaves. What else did you expect?

Gemini: May 21-June 20
A black cat who was just trying to snooze.

Cancer: June 21-July 22
Your DVD player remote control.

Leo: July 23-August 22
Dismembered hand!

Virgo: August 23-September 22
Leaves.

Libra: September 23-October 22
Used K-Cup pods. Ugg, litter!

Scorpio: October 23-November 21
A living dolphin.

Sagittarius: November 22-December 21
A mysterious, rusty key with a faded blue ribbon tied to it.

Capricorn: December 22-January 19
The business end of a stick.

Aquarius: January 20-February 18
More leaves.

Pisces: February 19-March 20
Circus peanuts.

*Flanny is not a psychic and does not necessarily believe in psychics or astrology, but she reads her own horoscope every day just in case.*

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About flanny

Flanny was born and raised in a Detroit suburb, but tells people she's from Detroit without clarification because it makes her sound tough. She is not tough. Her favorite member of One Direction is Louis Tomlinson, and her favorite Agatha Christie detectives are Tommy and Tuppence.
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10 Responses to Flanospooks for Your Weekend

  1. Sota says:

    I wish I was a Sagittarius. I really wanna know what secret door that key opens!

    • welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

      I immediately thought of David Lynch for some reason reading that one. So, you would never know or understand what the key is for if he’s the one who left it there.

    • hotspur says:

      My December birthday really paid off today! Except… this key is a lot of responsibility. Now I have to spend the whole next week tracking down whatever it is the key fits. I’m sure to get caught digging in Old Widow Harrington’s garden, have to hide out in the abandoned farmhouse past the brook, end up running from Trollface Ted’s sinister hound, and finally confront the Phantom of Red Bridge. I hope my friend Sally Emberman is okay, and that neighborhood bully Wiggs Malloy doesn’t cut the brakes on my prize go-cart.

  2. FRQ says:

    One fall, I remember losing my Dick Tracy action figure in a pile of leaves. It was a dark time in my life.

  3. Well that dolphin will have some explaining to do.

  4. nastyemu says:

    I don’t jump in piles of leaves anymore because in my experience all I find is spiders. So many spiders. That’s the real reason people are always burning piles of leaves.

  5. artdorkgirl says:

    Litter!?! Fall in the city is the worst!

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