It’s Project Club Time!

My only goal for this past week was to enjoy my vacation, and DID I EVER. I reached new heights in laziness, and it was outstanding. But it’s back to work this week! I need:

-To go grocery shopping

-Do a deep clean before family comes visiting on Monday

-Write at least 5,000 words, or, you know, something.


About Theresa Couchman

Theresa Couchman was born in Upstate New York, went to school in Upstate New York, and currently resides in Upstate New York. She has a pair of impractical Master's Degrees and a taste for the pointlessly weird, and is occasionally funny on Twitter.
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26 Responses to It’s Project Club Time!

  1. old man fatima says:

    I had a showing at my house and got a call from my realtor last week saying that I needed to do an inspection asap. The place has been literally torn apart (deck ripped apart, holes in walls and ceilings with the insulation torn out and scattered around, appliances destroyed, garbage and old food stuffed down air vents, etc etc etc). I asked my tenant what happened and she said “I can’t watch the kids all the time.” She has 3 kids, 2 of whom are severely autistic. I took the house off the market and had an eviction notice served on them on Sunday*.

    Which is all to say that I haven’t started or finished anything, because I know that in a week I’m going to have this enormous house project so what’s the point? I’ve been watching a LOT of Netflix and not doing a damn thing. My new roommate must think I’m such a lazy slob! But soon I’m going to have lots to say during Project Club, I’m sure…

    *I realized after the notice was served that they have 2 weeks to get out, as of Sunday which was the 11th, meaning that I evicted a single mom and her handicapped children for Christmas fucking day??? I feel like a monster, but I need them OOOUUUUUUUTTTTTT!

    • martinmegz says:

      Oh, my God. “I can’t watch the kids all the time”??? Does she watch them any of the time?????? Drawing on the walls with crayons would be one thing but how did they rip out a deck and insulation?

    • hotspur says:

      The house situation is bananas. I respect your villain-in-a-Christmas-movie-aimed-at-children approach, and I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

      • old man fatima says:

        Thanks! Of all of the things I’m annoyed at Fatiman right now about, convincing me to rent the house out instead of staying in it until it sold is #1 right now

    • Erika says:

      How old are these kids? I have a family member with an autistic son who wrecks her house constantly but he’s 20 years old.

      • old man fatima says:

        They’re both around 7 or 8 I think. The house is also filthy, like the walls and floors are sticky and what I hope is food has been smeared all over the walls in one of the bedrooms, and she smokes indoors which is forbidden in the lease. I think she’s maybe a touch mentally challenged as well? When I saw the house and told her it was unacceptable, she was super confused. She said “I know it’s not spotless, but I don’t understand what’s so bad about it?”

  2. catweazle says:

    My new projects are to not freeze to death, not fly to Montreal just to strangle my trainees, and to make cookies for a pajama/Christmas cookie party at my friend’s bar on Monday.

  3. martinmegz says:

    My office holiday party is today so I’ll be back after my three-Manhattan lunch to find out what projects truly lie in my heart because future drunk me will tell the truth.

  4. flanny says:

    I’m doing a pretty good job brainstorming for my Pen Faulkner award-winning novel that I’m writing in 2017. I think that the elements, as Dr. Watson said to Sherlock, “are coming together, sir.” (Waiting for Guffman quote.) Now that I’m halfway through the month, I need to put pen to paper and start outlining and junk so I can actually write in January. But the good thing is that I only have a day and a half of work left this year, so I’ll be able to really buckle down and focus soon.

  5. collin0truckasaurus says:

    I completed my self-review. The thing said there was a 10,000 character limit and so I wrote 9,900 (roughly) and then it wouldn’t submit it and so I kept trying to submit after taking out a word here or there. It finally accepted it at 9,460. I was very upset. That’s a significant character difference.
    Have to wrap presents and make it through 1.2 more days of work (today is still going, ugh…..)

  6. hotspur says:

    I really want to finish vampires #3 before Christmas, and the clock is in the red (and green!) zone on that. So it’s white (Christmas) knuckle time. Will I finish? Maybe. This weekend either I hit it out of the park or I totally fail. That is what it comes down to.

    Also, tonight is my office Christmas party, but I’m opting to see Rogue One instead. I saw Arrival last night and it was great.

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