It’s been ages since we last checked in with the UK’s ghosts (approximately two and a half years, actually, which in blog years is the equivalent of a century), so it feels high time to return to one of our favourite topics: the supernatural. So many things may have changed since that last post, but one thing remains the same – we’re still pretty rubbish at ghosts.
Our story starts in Pontefract in West Yorkshire, and the curious case of the Black Monk Ghost (or at the very least, one of its relatives) Mum of two Tracy Proctor says she’s been plagued by this spectre for 14 years, and boy-o-boy there’s a lot to unpack here.
This ghost! He, for we must assume it is a he, is the spectral equivalent of that annoying friend who comes round to your house and messes with your stuff, but also that annoying friend who doesn’t have any fun and therefore doesn’t want you to have any fun either. YOU ALL HAVE THAT FRIEND TOO RIGHT IT’S NOT JUST ME.
He doesn’t like men, because he drives men from Tracy’s house. Her sons, for example, and several previous boyfriends. He seems to have a phantom corgi (this *is* Britain) that shows up in photos alongside Tracy’s own dogs. Then for the hat-trick, he goes round pulling down the underwear of the dolls in Tracy’s doll collection.
JUDGE FOR YOURSELVES:
All knickers seem to be firmly ON, though it could do with a tidy-up.
We head now to Aberdeenshire, specifically Crathes Castle, and the curious case of the Photobombing Ghost. I feel like this is slightly stretching the definition of ‘photobombing’, but OK, let’s run with it.
78-year-old Bill Andrew took his family to visit the 16th-century castle, and they decided to pose for this snap:
I know what you’re thinking. “You said ‘photobombing ghost’, gnidrah, where is my photobombing ghost, I demand to see it”. Well, look again my friend because it’s in there somewhere. I think? Basically you’re looking for a ghost holding a baby in a doorway, and the door is open but the door was actually closed when they were there. DUN DUN DUN!
I have some issues with this, mainly because I can’t see the ghost, but I’m sure Bill can convince us:
“I didn’t know it had this reputation of being haunted and having ghosts appearing all the time, to be honest. When the picture was taken I didn’t notice anything, but my daughter had a look and it did seem that something was standing in the doorway behind us. I’m not sure if it was a ghost or not and I’m not really clued up on the fact or fiction of the castle, but it’s definitely something interesting to remember.”
Great, thanks for that Bill, glad to know you’re 100% onboard with this.
Our final spooky tale takes us to Northwich in Cheshire (not far from Holmes Chapel, Flanny and Cass) and grandmother of 12, Christine Hamlett.
Christine’s been bombarded with ghosts, tbh, a lot of them celebrities – Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Sir Winston Churchill, all have taken time out of their busy haunting schedules to stop by and see Christine. So which famous phantoms could Christine have seen this time? GO ON, GUESS:
This didn’t happen YESTERDAY, but in case you need some HELP, let’s put our heads together and maybe WE CAN WORK IT OUT.
I’m completely sure you got it, but in case that blurry mess didn’t miraculously form famous ghost faces in front of your eyes, then Christine claims it’s Beatles legends John Lennon and George Harrison. Really. Says Christine,
“I looked at them three or four times, thinking ‘is it them? Isn’t it?'”
Well, Christine, I can help you there. It isn’t.
Jeez. We can’t even get ghosts right.