The Keanu Project©®™

One of my best-kept secrets is that I really love Keanu Reeves. JKJKJK it’s not a secret, he’s my favorite topic of conversation. Just today I went to grab lunch and instead bought a magazine with him on the cover. If you follow me on Twitter, you have probably muted me on Twitter because of how much I talk about Keanu Reeves. But there’s a good reason for it! He’s a fascinating and gentle soul with an unsullied reputation for being generous and introspective.

I have stored in my brain box a series of facts I’ve read about Keanu, but I won’t pretend to have verified all any of them. Specifically, there’s a long-standing rumor that he gave away $75 million of profits from The Matrix sequels to benefit the special effects people. Is this true? It is for our purposes! Stop questioning things, guys, you’ll live longer. He definitely gave motorcycles to the stunt guys on the second Matrix because they worked hard and he was aware of how much more he got paid.

Keanu has endured a lot of tragedy, including an absentee father, the death of good friend River Phoenix, a stillborn baby, the death of the girlfriend who had been pregnant a year later, and a sister fighting leukemia. Remember sad Keanu (see above)? The mere act of eating lunch on a bench fills him with ennui. And still he is known for his kindness. ALSO FYI haters, he is incredibly well-read and intelligent.

My devotion to the man whose name means “cool breeze over the mountains” began when I saw Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure at age 10. I still remember asking my mom why everyone was laughing when they said their favorite number was “69, dudes!”

In the 90s, I watched Speed more times than I can count. Little did I know that when I grew up, a street where part of the movie was shot would be on my daily commute. That might be one reason why Keanu’s always on my mind.

Here’s Keanu buying coffee at the Firehouse, a spot I drive by daily!

Look closely, here I am on my way to work, can’t be late!

In college, at least one dorm room was playing The Matrix at any given point in time. And, fun fact, a few weeks into my freshman year I hitched a ride with some upperclassmen to sneak into a Santa Monica bar to watch Keanu’s band play. What that means is that within a few weeks of going off to college, I had been vocal enough about my Keanu obsession for someone to think to tell me about this show.

For awhile my Keanu adoration lay dormant, then a few years ago I saw him doing press for John Wick and thought, wow, Keanu looks amazing. I went to see John Wick in the theater and the movie totally captured my heart. It’s so original and awesome, with incredible fight scenes and world-building that sucks you right in to the underground assassins universe.

All of this is to say that it should come as no surprise that one way I pass free time is by firing up a Keanu movie (I also read old Keanu interviews, which I know is weird, but seriously guys, he spent years developing Passengers only to have the role snatched away and given to Chris Pratt! I read about it in a 2008 GQ interview and I am FURIOUS!).

I’m starting to delve into some of his movies that I’ve either never seen or haven’t watched multiple times, and just for fun I thought I’d start writing about this project here. I’ll be telling you my thoughts on the movies and letting you know if you should or shouldn’t invest the time. First up will be The Replacements. Spoiler: If you loved the 90s as much as I did, definitely go watch this movie! Watch it tonight! It’s the perfect 90s movie even though it was released in 2000!

In the immortal words of Bill and Ted, all we are is dust in the wind, dude. Dust. Wind. Dude. So before we shuffle off this mortal coil, let us enjoy what time we have by appreciating the artistry of Keanu Reeves.

This entry was posted in Celebrities and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to The Keanu Project©®™

  1. Kate says:

    I didn’t know all of that about his life! Poor Keanu! I’ll make an effort to appreciate him more.

    • martinmegz says:

      I glossed over the details because I feel sleazy talking about his private life, but I think the context is really important to understand how incredible it is that he is reported to be the nicest guy people have ever met.

  2. flanny says:

    This is a thrill.

  3. old man fatima says:

    I support this 100%. I heard once upon a time that Keanu is obsessed with the Stratford Ontario Shakespeare festival and continued to try out for years after he was a Big Deal, but they never took him! I need to know if it’s true, the fact that I could have seen him a mere 30 mins from my mom’s house haunts me. Please, when you marry him can you ask him how many times he tried out for the Stratford festival, and which years, and which monologues he did, and if they gave him any constructive criticism or were just like “lol nope”????

    • hotspur says:

      The joke’s on them, because he went on to star in a Shakespeare movie that someone told me was really good.

    • martinmegz says:

      These are all great Qs. I can tell you that he was rejected by Stratford Festival at least twice and in 19995, he turned down a reported $10-12 million because he knew Speed 2 was a mistake and instead went to do Hamlet in Winnipeg.

  4. Commentatrix says:

    I support this 110 percent.

  5. welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

    You know, I’ve never had strong feelings about Keanu Reeves, but your love for him is making me think that I should go watch a bunch of his movies.

    I’ve never seen Bill & Ted, but before you get mad, please know that Speed will always hold a special place in my heart. I loved that movie when I was younger, and it holds up!

    I did not like the Matrix movies, but it is not Keanu’s fault.

  6. Erika says:

    I’ve always liked Keanu, but not to the point of seeing anything he appears in, that honor is reserved for the Rock. But he does seem like a really great guy, and he’s aged ridiculously well. Isn’t he around 50?

  7. taoreader says:

    I am totally on board! I can’t claim to have your pure, sincere devotion, but I’ve always enjoyed watching him. Bill and Ted is great and still so much fun, and he is sexy as hell in Speed (a great action flick all around,) and Constantine is one of my favorite movies. And Matrix is a cool-ass movie. Now, thanks to you, I might even see John Wick!

Comments are closed.