How Was Your Weekend?

I was ON FIRE this weekend. I got so much stuff done–shopping, chores, writing, making it out of Target with only the things I needed. I’m pretty proud of myself. And the neighbor who helped me move my treadmill is definitely still alive, so I’m also not a murderer, which is always nice.

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About Theresa Couchman

Theresa Couchman was born in Upstate New York, went to school in Upstate New York, and currently resides in Upstate New York. She has a pair of impractical Master's Degrees and a taste for the pointlessly weird, and is occasionally funny on Twitter.
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18 Responses to How Was Your Weekend?

  1. hotspur says:

    i was not on fire, but I smoldered. Friday night I went to a friend’s to consume alcohol and watch Samurai Cop (1989). Saturday I activated my new iPhone (the 7 is a mile better than the 5!) and spent 7 hours organizing my main closet. Saturday night I went out to see the Alvarez-Golovkin fight, as I’m sure you all did. Good stuff, right? Except for that ending, oy. But I don’t need to tell you!

    Sunday I half-organized my backup closet and threw out two hefty bags of New Yorkers I admitted I will never read. I put off writing till Sunday night, and then failed to meet my page-count goal in that arena. I did achieve a higher cookies-eaten count than I set out to, though.

    The weekend’s main downside: Emptying the closets kicked up a ton of dust, so I’ll be dusting for literally the rest of the week. Luckily I anticipated this and put a sheet over my couch, so there is a safe haven.

    Oh! I also found an app that lets me scan the barcodes on books I own and actually does a good job of it. So I’m cataloging my “library.” The app is called “MyBookList.” So far I recommend it.

    • hotspur says:

      Incidentally here are your no-budget Mel Gibson and Danny Glover in Samurai Cop:

    • Erika says:

      Samurai Cop 2 is also worth seeing, although it’s a different brand of ridiculous than the original. It has Tommy Wiseau instead of Robert Z’Dar, and, like the GI Joe movie, it apparently thinks there’s an epidemic of white babies being abandoned in Japan.

      • hotspur says:

        Huh! I had no idea. SC1 was reminding me of good ol’ Wiseau, though, so that makes sense. Dream casting.

  2. flanny says:

    I got my feet professionally sized for the first time since–I’m not sure–middle school? The guy confirmed I have hobbit-width feet, but since I was wearing socks, he could not confirm if they were hobbit-hairy. (They are.) Then I bought some new running shoes. I requested “not pink” but because I had such wide feet my options are limited and there is a smidge of pink in them. But I’m pretty excited to take them out for a run later this week!

    After I bought my shoes, I was having coffee with a friend, sitting outside on a little patio. And about an hour into it we saw an old lady with a walker trip and fall across the street! My friend darted across four lanes of traffic while I called 911, and then we waited along with some other nice passers-by until the ambulance came. Evidently she is a homeless lady with a history of drinking, because the policeman who showed up first knew her. I kind of wish there was a way for 911 to contact the people who called 911 to let them know if whatever they called about turned out okay. I think she’s going to be fine ultimately, but she fell so hard, there was literally blood pooling on the sidewalk. (And then after everyone was gone, we saw some middle-ages white guys on their way to the bar next door instagramming the blood like it was a crime scene. Dicks.)

    • hotspur says:

      To be fair, after everyone was gone, as far as those dudes knew, it WAS a crime scene. But more generally: Sigh, when will people lose the urge to take a picture of literally everything they see and put it in the series of tubes? Like, that’s a fad, right? It will end, RIGHT? Someone throw me a lifeline here.

      • flanny says:

        The slightly good thing about that is that another (slightly crazy) man saw them taking pictures from across the street, and when he walked past the blood and realized what they were doing, he gestured toward them and sort of yelled down the block at them. They didn’t hear him, but I was glad it happened.

    • I’m with you on the wide feet problem. My options for running shoes in a store are so limited, usually I have to take whatever color is in stock.

      • Oh no I just remembered a sad story from when I was young. My parents took me to get
        a new bike and I chose this pale pink color that I was so excited about. Then when I got home some jerky kids in the neighborhood made fun of me for having a pink bike and I lied and said it was the only color and immediately the thrill of getting the new bike gone. I’m so angry that I capitulated to those idiots, I should have stood up for my choice.

        • flanny says:

          Oh, that’s very sad.

        • hotspur says:

          Why are kids such awful people??

        • actionjackson5 says:

          Kids are the worst (and I have two of them and love them and I’ll admit it!).

          When our oldest was 4, he went to a superhero birthday party at a park, and he wore a Batman costume we had gotten him. He was SO excited about that costume, absolutely loved it.

          We got to the party and all the other kids just had t-shirts with superhero logos on them. After about 10 minutes he ran up to me and whispered “I don’t want to wear my costume anymore.” No one had said anything to him. He just felt the subtle peer pressure to be like the others. Luckily he also had a superhero T under his costume, so it was no big deal, but that pressure to fit in, at age 4, really made me sad (much more than him, to be honest).

        • hotspur says:

          Oh no! That superhero story hurts.

          My nephew loved bugs. Loooooved them, and was fearless about catching them and examining them closely, and using books and interwebs to look them up and find out everything he could about each one. Whenever I saw a weird one, I’d send him a photo of it, and he’d look it up for me (with his mom’s help). He wasn’t even in school yet! (My sister is a great mom who saw that they fascinated him, so she just rolled with it.) Anyway, he started school, and some girls in his class were like “Ewwwwwwwww, bugs are so groooooossssssss” — and suddenly he never mentioned bugs anymore. That makes me sad. I want that kid covered in bugs 24/7.

  3. catweazle says:

    I mostly just relaxed this weekend because today is my first day back at work. I forced myself into sleeping normal hours more successfully than I expected! Being back at work is good in a way because I was going stir crazy but commuting was really terrible. As always I tried to keep my arms in as close to my sides as possible because I am respectful of other peoples’ personal space, but the skin under my arms is still swollen and sore and I am in pain! So I am officially just going to be a public transit menace and keep my arms slightly out from my sides for a while.

  4. I spent the weekend at Riot Fest listening to awesome bands and spending too much money on overpriced beer. All in all it was fun. I woke up Sunday to my kitchen sink backed up. I guess all of the sinks are connected in my building so when the upstairs people use their sink it drains to mine then to the next person’s before draining. Well there was a clog in my sink, so I got stuck with their nasty sink water. I left them a note to not use their sink, dumped most of the water down the toilet, then left for Riot Fest. The plumber was 2 hours later this morning, but that made for the perfect excuse to work from home. So now my weekend feels extended because I’m not in the office.

  5. I had an unusually exciting weekend. I went to a movie screening on Friday at a movie studio, and after the screening I walked around the lot gawking at the parking spots of famous people and peeking into open sound stages from the sidewalk. Saturday I went to a low-key party. Then Sunday I went to the press junket for the movie and used all of my self control not to ask everyone if they 1. know Keanu Reeves and 2. would introduce me to him. I felt like Hugh Grant representing Horse & Hound! Does anyone know that reference or am I the only one who constantly thinks about that?

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