This Weekend’s Flanospooks

It’s time for Flanospooks! They’re like horoscopes except they tell you what you’ll be buried alive under!

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Dirt

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Dirt

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Dirt

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Dolphin carcasses

Leo (July 23-August 22)
Dirt

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Your parents’ unattainable expectations for your professional and personal life

Libra (September 23-October 22)
Your spouse’s clean but unfolded laundry

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Dirt

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Chicken feathers

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Dirt

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)
Dirt

Pisces (February 19 to March 20)
A great slab of rock with Celtic runes primatively carved into it on all sides

See you next wEeEeEeEeK!

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About flanny

Flanny was born and raised in a Detroit suburb, but tells people she's from Detroit without clarification because it makes her sound tough. She is not tough. Her favorite member of One Direction is Louis Tomlinson, and her favorite Agatha Christie detectives are Tommy and Tuppence.
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7 Responses to This Weekend’s Flanospooks

  1. taoreader says:

    So, I’m on the cusp between Pisces and Aries, so do I get to choose between the dirt and the cool rock with Celtic runes?

  2. hotspur says:

    I don’t mind being buried alive under chicken feathers because I’m assuming I can easily stand up, and then be standing alive amidst chicken feathers, and then be walking away alive from chicken feathers.

  3. flanny says:

    Guys, I just discovered that with our new editor-less set-up I can go in and change typos while the post is active. I’m going to be crazy with power!!!!

  4. Tracey says:

    I’ve always known I would be buried under dirt but somehow seeing it written out here makes me feel not special.

Comments are closed.