Tournament of Hotties: “Other” Round Two

For our final set of matches of Round Two we’ll be visiting the “Other” bracket, a beautiful collection of miscellaneous studs. Here’s who survived Round One:

Donald Glover (1) vs. Keanu Reeves (8)

Do you prefer young blood or vintage classics? Multi-hyphenate entertainers or stars of memes?

Donald Glover

Harry Styles won the battle of 1D, and came reasonably close to toppling a #1 seed. You guys can have him. Donald here more than deserved his victory, but can he pull off another?

Keanu Reeves

Frank Ocean was no match for Keanu. Better luck next time, Frank! Keanu is more of a legend than a man at this point, but… do you want to bang a legend? Only you can decide.

Taika Waititi (5) vs. Andy Samberg (13)

I love this matchup because these guys are both delightful weirdos and I’m happy they both made it through round one. Especially because I found amazing pictures of both of them with cats!!

Taika Waititi

It appears that you all prefer a Kiwi in a pineapple romper to a sexy tennis player, so we said goodbye to Marat Safin in round one. Taika directed a movie packed with hot people last year, and his own personal hotness was the cherry on top of the Thor press tour.

Andy Samberg

Apparently I overestimated how much you guys like Lin-Manuel Miranda because Andy Samberg DESTROYED him in round one. I think this makes it official: Dick in a Box is a more important piece of art than Hamilton.

Common (6) vs. Jeff Goldblum (3)

Here we have two great tastes that taste great together. I don’t know what that means, but I just felt like saying it. It is 4AM and I am running out of ways to talk about hot people.


Common took down John Legend with ease, just as he has taken down our hearts with his good looks. And it’s not his fault that I couldn’t find a better picture of him with a cute animal, it’s just that when you search “Common kitten” the results are adorable but they don’t include Common.

Jeff Goldblum

You guys really love Jeff Goldblum! Or maybe you’re just not on board with the Ricky Martin comeback. Either way, it’s up to you to decide if Jeff makes it to round three!

Gus Kenworthy (10) vs. Cheyenne Jackson (15)

Is it just me or do both of these guys have sort of fake sounding names?

Gus Kenworthy

Gus won the Battle of the Winter Olympians (sorry Adam Rippon!) and I was worried it would be hard to find pictures of him with animals but apparently he rescues puppies when he’s not skiing so it was honestly difficult to choose the best photo!

Cheyenne Jackson

The Rock did very well in the last tournament so I was surprised when Cheyenne beat him in round one. Way to go Danny from 30 Rock!

That concludes Round Two! Relax and enjoy your weekend and we’ll start Round Three on Monday!

About catweazle

Catweazle is an 11th century wizard trying to make his way through the modern world while living in a disused water tower with his pet toad.
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4 Responses to Tournament of Hotties: “Other” Round Two

  1. Sergeant Tibbs says:

    I’ve never gotten to the poll early. Hope everyone agrees with my choices! That’s how this works right?

  2. We’re getting a lot of upsets this time around! I like it.

  3. Tracey says:

    I’m excited for a potential John Wick 2 re-match of the Keanu vs. Common fight.

  4. taoreader says:

    It is 4AM and I am running out of ways to talk about hot people.

    I have to say, you’re doing a spectacular job with that task.

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