Tournament of Hotties: Round Five

We’re down to the final four! Can you believe it? In just a week we’ll be voting for the winner of the whole damn tournament! But for now, let’s check out the results of last week’s matches.

Chris Evans (2) vs. John Cho (1)

Theresa, I’m very sorry but you’re going to have to choose between these two! My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

Chris Evans

It seems appropriate that the victor of the Marvel and DC bracket is Captain America. Even though you all got it wrong because no shade but Michael B. Jordan is WAY HOTTER. But whatever, I make the polls, I don’t control them. I can’t hold it against Chris though, because he seems like a lovely person and also looks like a lovely person.

John Cho

John had no trouble at all making it through to the end of the TV Actors bracket. He is the undisputed king of the small screen, and now it’s time to see whether he can take down a superhero!


Armie Hammer (1) vs. Keanu Reeves (8)

Hopefully this one won’t prove to be deeply personally conflicting for any of you. If it is, I’m sorry, but please know that it will be equally hard for me to choose as sadly neither of these fellows is my bag.

Armie Hammer

Armie vs. Mahershala was YET ANOTHER exact tie. Twitter came through for the tiebreaker this time, and much to my horror, Armie emerged triumphant. Different strokes, etc. Can Gabriel from Gossip Girl con his way to the end of the tournament?

Keanu Reeves

With Keanu I can be happy knowing that at least one Monster will be very pleased by his continued presence. I think maybe because I never saw any of his movies in the 90s I can’t really *get* him, but I’m happy for all of you (while being sad for Common)!


Next week we’ll finish this thing!

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About catweazle

Catweazle is an 11th century wizard trying to make his way through the modern world while living in a disused water tower with his pet toad.
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5 Responses to Tournament of Hotties: Round Five

  1. taoreader says:

    HOW did Hammer beat Ali? Maybe I don’t understand because I never saw Gossip Girl.

  2. This is NOT the final four I expected, but I’m so proud of my two husbands who know I’d never have to choose between them in real life because we’d all figure something out.

  3. Tracey says:

    Yes I am very pleased! Also “seems like a lovely person and also looks like a lovely person” is pretty much #lifegoals.

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