Haunted House of the Week: The Pillars Estate

Built in 1878 and dubbed The Pillars Estate, this antique gem sits in the middle of bucolic/polar-vortexed Upstate New York farm country, where it is currently for sale at a massively reduced rate and is home to a highly active ghost. I’m sure those two facts are humble coincidence.

“Highly active?” you say, raising an eyebrow. “Surely just another of those ectoplasmic nonesuches that taunt one to feel quizzical about the finality of death whenever one finds a cold spot in the hall — or perhaps misplaces a set of keys.” Yeah NO, I mean this ghost is sighted all the time. She wanders halls, she lies on beds, she LIVES there. She wears a white dress. She goes up and down the stairs. She even plays piano. You can listen. Her name is Patricia Carr. Mrs. Carr lived in the house starting in the 1940s with her husband, Mr. Carr, and died in it.

We must assume Mr. Carr murdered her in gruesome fashion, and then all the neighborhood children, one full-moon Halloween, under the home’s massive stained glass window that depicts, in 666 shades of red, the Biblical tale of the beheading of Holofernes. Unfortunately, the writeup I read omitted these or similar details and said only that she died “in the lady’s parlor.” Originally I took that to mean that this house is so huge, it has three parlors, including a men’s parlor and a parlor for mixing, but now as I type this paragraph I suspect it is a euphemism for “on the toilet.”

The house is huge, though. Six bedrooms, space for a piano, and an addition built after 2011 that is meant to be a replica of the Titanic ballroom.

“Replica of” overstates, but it’s very close. Let’s go with “redolent of.” Think how you could use this room. You could host a Titanic-themed party. A wedding. A Titanic-themed wedding. An ordinary day. Make it a place to put the trash you can’t take out because of the snow, Dec-Mar.

These are the older stairs, where people sometimes hear footsteps, even though there is no sign of any person. Mrs. Carr, pick a floor! Just kidding, Mrs. Carr, you can go wherever you like, up and down all night, it’s as much your house as anyone’s.

Speaking of which, it could be ours, and I think we should buy it. HEAR ME OUT. Upstate New York is beautiful, and this house is a stone’s throw from the fourth-best Great Lake. You can get to Niagara Falls in an hour, or Rochester in an hour the other way. You can get a nice job in any other nearby city, like Carlton, or Hulberton. Or even try Rochester! And get this, we wouldn’t have to live in the house full time, because the place has a delightful caretaker named Cora Goyette who also refuses to live there or visit at night.

Seriously, look how comfy, and it comes fully furnished (must love dogs). Fully furnished is insane. So, basically, we form an LLC with a spooky name, each kick in a manageable amount of dough, the agent hands us keys, and none of us ever has to buy another couch for as long as we live. Are we stupid enough to do this?? (I probably am, that’s a fact.) We could rent rooms out to people who want to meet a ghost! Or run a writers retreat aimed at all the modern-day M. R. Jameses! Or even just meet up once year to watch trampoline YouTubes aboard history’s ultimate trampoline accident, the Titanic. The sky is the limit, you guys, and also whatever Mrs. Carr decides is the limit.

For tons more photos and info, see my ghostly source. Or to calculate our mortgage payments and learn about schools in the area, visit the listing.

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About hotspur

hotspur is the videogum name of Luke Rooney, who usually makes the Kessel Run in 17 or 18 parsecs because, like, what is the rush? We will get to Kessel when we get to Kessel, just sit down and enjoy the run for chrissakes.
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9 Responses to Haunted House of the Week: The Pillars Estate

  1. taoreader says:

    I am IN. I’m selling my condo in FL and I’ll have my share of the down payment!

    Mrs. Carr seems a little angry about that unibrow. Maybe she died in the “parlor” trying to shave it? With whatever ladies’ razors looked like back in the day? And then accidentally cut herself and bled out? And she called out but no one could hear her because she was like half a mile away from the next person in the other wing? And she can’t rest until a beautician certified in brow waxing also dies in the house and takes care of that unibrow for her in the afterlife so she can move on?

    As long as I can bring my dog I’m there.

    • taoreader says:

      So I did some unnecessary research, and straight razors were around in the 1700s, sometimes used by women! Those things are dangerous!

      Though they also had safety razors by 1880. Maybe she borrowed Mr. Carr’s and that pissed him off and he did her in her for stealing his stuff from the Man’s Wing.

      She could possibly have tried a depilatory cream, invented in 1844. Perhaps she got some in her eye and it caused an infection and she DIED from it. That would piss me off enough to haunt a house.

  2. Kate says:

    She looks a bit like my sister, who would have a unibrow if she didn’t tweeze. Didn’t they have tweezers back then? Or maybe unibrows were in fashion? She looks like an angry ghost. I’m out! Too scary.

    • taoreader says:

      They had tweezers! Apparently in ancient Egypt they used seashells as tweezers. I read a lot about the history of shaving in my research rabbit hole.

    • hotspur says:

      She’s in the bloom of youth in that photo. It’s safe to assume she aged into being a merry, lighthearted, devil-may-care type in her forties, as people usually do. And it is important to note that there is no public record of this ghost shoving anyone to their death down the twisting stairs, as of press time.

      Just in case, we will see to it there are tweezers in every room.

  3. nastyemu says:

    North of Buffalo is way too spooky for me. Surely there are tropical ghosts we can befriend.

  4. Tracey says:

    We could definitely run a successful haunted Airbnb! I might be unemployed soon so I’m looking for a get rich quick scheme. I don’t believe in ghosts but I’m happy to trick the tourists by moving the marker on the ouija board.

    • hotspur says:

      You might not be the business partner hero these ghosts wants, but you’re the business partner hero they need.

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