Open Thread

How was your weekend/day/TV talk/dance party etc! Everyone seems busy these days so I thought I’d try an open thread this week.


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25 Responses to Open Thread

  1. Tracey says:

    I had my first online date this weekend. It was fine in the sense that there was nothing bad to report, but I definitely panicked at the end when he asked if he could see me again. The answer was no and I wish I had handled it more gracefully. I have another date set for Wednesday and I think this is the end of the line for me, my enthusiasm for dating has been depleted.

    • taoreader says:

      It is really hard to say no to a guy you’re not really into but is otherwise a perfectly nice human being.

      I haven’t dated in ages either, after a few online meet-ups. I’m not opposed to it at all but I also don’t feel the need to rush it.

    • welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

      Yeah, it’s hard to say no if there was nothing WRONG, but it’s also good not to waste your time (or his) if you don’t feel like it’s going anywhere.

      Good luck on Wednesday!

      • Tracey says:

        Well there were some things wrong but they were muted. He didn’t ask me anything about myself, but he was clearly interested, so I think he was projecting qualities he wanted onto me. He told me a story about a conflict with his ex-girlfriend with the intention of painting himself as a “good guy” but I could understand her perspective, as well. I think he lacks self-awareness and was too invested in trying to sell himself to me as the image he has of himself.

        The thing I’m struggling with is whether I should have been honest about those reasons. I might have been in a text but he put me on the spot in person so I made it about me not being ready, which is partly also true. There is a whole different level of excitement about the Wednesday guy, though, so it’s interesting to see that I can actually feel a connection with someone at this point.

    • gnidrah says:

      Well done for going! It’s SO hard. I tried it last year, and to be honest I got very lucky, in that I met someone really nice and we were together for about 6-7 months till he decided he “wasn’t ready for a relationship”, which sounds like me being sarcastic and in a way I am, because WHAT WERE WE DOING THEN? but actually, in fairness to him, it was all handled OK.

      But also you are putting your entire self out there and that’s so tough and I’m not quite ready to do it again. One of my best friends is just dipping her toe into the water at the moment. Best story so far: guy, 43, messages a few times, asks her if she, 38, will call him so he can hear her accent. She agrees. They talk a bit about family, etc. She says her father died 10 years ago. He then starts crying, and says could she not mention that again because he loves his dad and does not want to imagine his own father ever dying.*


      • Tracey says:

        Wow that is the definition of red flag!

        • gnidrah says:

          How did Wednesday go?!

        • Tracey says:

          It was amazing! Second date scheduled for this weekend! Our text chemistry carried over to real life, what a relief. Now I’m feeling like I need to buy new clothes. I’m looking in my closet wondering what humans put on their bodies. What am I supposed to wear on dates? I just have the one date outfit locked and loaded!

        • gnidrah says:

          Oh that’s great, I’m so glad! Depends what you’re doing – if it’s drinks or dinner then you have to take Outfit 1 (which we know worked), and move it on ever so slightly to create Outfit 2, ie. so I wore trousers again, but a different colour, and with a shirt that I happen to know looks great because I get a comment every time I wear it, but which also, conveniently, rides up a little when I reach to get something, if you see what I am getting at… 🙂

          (This is actually more fun for someone else than for myself)

      • taoreader says:

        Dude is crying over someone he doesn’t know? Then instructing her on what she shouldn’t say in the future? So she can learn to walk on eggshells around him? NOPE.

        • gnidrah says:

          I mean it’s good to get it all out there before you’ve even met, right?! He did actually then ask her to travel to visit him (probably it’s a journey of about 60-70 miles) but collective decision was that that could be what’s known as “a waste of time”.

  2. taoreader says:

    So I finished the first season of Killing Eve (psychopaths are freaky!) and Imposters (fun show with great characters). Keeping up with Jane the Virgin and Brooklyn 99.

    I’d also recommend a documentary on Netflix called Boy Interrupted, if mental health documentaries are your jam. Beautifully told story about a boy who had bipolar disorder from a very young age. CW for suicide. I know, but it’s good!

    Also Shirkers, and unusual, creative movie about some teenagers who made a movie in Singapore, then the film disappeared. Becomes sort of mesmerizing by the end.

    • welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

      Imposters is in my list on Netflix. I’ll have to check out Boy Interrupted too.

      I started watching the last season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend by the way. I still don’t love it, but I have laughed out loud at so many things.

    • Tracey says:

      I love Killing Eve and Imposters!

  3. welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

    We had dinner in Chicago at one of my favorite restaurants after doing a little shopping. The rest of the weekend was good. I was mildly productive – I finally started going through an embarrassingly large pile of mail.

    I started watching A Quiet Place. It’s ok so far, but I have a lot of complaints about it.

    I also started watching Ramy on Hulu. I’m mostly through with episode 1, and I like it.

    • taoreader says:

      I watched A Quiet Place and thought is was so good. I want to know what your complaints are. I guess one I had was the highly traditional family structure–Mom is the nurturer/caregiver, Dad is the protector/provider. I know the mom’s pregnant and all, but jeez.

      • welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

        A lot of complaints might be over stating it, and I don’t think it’s a bad movie by any means.

        The pregnancy is one thing I didn’t like. I have the same complaint with Walking Dead. Do not bring babies into this world if this world means living in constant fear of monsters, zombies, etc. In this case, babies make lots of noise! Noise=monsters coming to kill you.

        This one is pretty minor, and maybe it is just the OCD in me, but in the very beginning, they are walking around the pharmacy and the woods in bare feet. You can walk pretty quietly in a pair of Chuck Taylors or other gym shoe. I mean, there’s probably broken glass and god knows what else.

        That poor kid still had to do math homework! It’s the end of the world? I mean it seems pretty hopeless from what I’ve seen so far – i’m about halfway through the movie. Keep teaching him survival skills, but maybe hold up on the long division.

        I would be one of the first people to go in one of these end of the world situations. Bird Box, The Walking Dead, A Quiet Place. Nope. I’m out.

  4. gnidrah says:

    Someone here mentioned they were watching The Widow? I have the final episode left to watch (probably on Wednesday!!) but I am going to need to debrief this afterwards pls. Thanks. 🙂

    Also just finished watching Deutschland 86 and I am glad I stuck with it, because it really picked up after the first couple of episodes, so stick with it if you are giving it a go.

    Other than that – WERK WERK WERK. I’m on a new topical comedy series and man, is it tough trying to keep everyone happy. I was worried about not being able to make people laugh with my scripts, but it turns out that’s the easy bit…!

    • Tracey says:

      I watched it and will be ready to talk when you finish! I find Kate Beckinsale so compelling on the screen. I think there are a lot of things you could criticize about the show but I enjoyed it. I’m currently watching the new season of Bosch!

    • taoreader says:

      I also watched it, would love to do a postmortem!

      • gnidrah says:

        Here and ready for it, but if it’s no spoilers for anyone else, we understand!

  5. hotspur says:

    I’m watching Star Trek Discovery season 1. It’s a bit out there. The science team says “That’s so fucking cool” when they make a discovery, which if you know Star Trek you know is unprecedented. And so, okay, real people say fuck, and i guess we will in the future, if we want to make Star Trek “realistic” instead of aspirational (do we?), but the moment felt like this show trying very hard to demonstrate its sensibility instead of just being. Because not only did they use New Words, the characters then discuss whether it’s appropriate to use those words, and merrily they decide yes. You can feel the show grabbing you by the lapels to announce WE’RE NOT YOUR GRANDFATHER’S STAR TREK. Which, can’t you just be whatever you’re gonna be and be chill about it? I feel like whoever is writing this dialog has rarely been in a conversation and the studio notes were “Great. More self-conscious please. Also? Add some horror but don’t commit to it, so it always feels lame.”

    Overall I feel like this show is more a deconstruction of Star Trek than an actual Star Trek, which is interesting, and I’ll keep watching, but… so far, it lacks heart. (up to s1e6).

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