UFOs Are Definitely Real: Open Chat

You guys, I saw a UFO once. In New Jersey, in the ’90s. I was hanging out on the roof of the house I lived in, as you do when you are 21, because at 21 a roof seems as legit as any given couch. One time we were up there and police ran into the house (how is that legal?) and all the way up to the windows we climbed out of, and made us come inside. Then they made us sit and listen to their big drama-queen speech about how, if we fell off, we’d be dead. We sat there like: These police are idiots! None of us fell! But now, as an adult, with a fully formed brain, hypothetically? We should not have been on the roof. We’d be dead.

Anyway, one time, a different time, we were on the roof, and this thing flew overhead. It was the middle of the day, but we couldn’t figure out what it was. It was definitely not an aeroplane, and it was up much too high and going too fast to be a helicopter. It was silent, which was odd, and it was hard to tell its shape, because it glinted in the sun, as if highly polished. It zipped in a straight line, turned kind of sharp, and zipped away, on out of our lives.

My friend Pete and I watched it, and I think this guy Anthony? And two other guys? Oof, this was ages ago. But 100 percent, that was a UFO: it was flying, it was an object, and none of us could identify it.

Last night, I watched a documentary on Netflix about Bob Lazar, the dude who allegedly worked at Area 51 and went public about that in the 1980s. It was an okay doc, not great. I’d read online that it ends with a real shock. You can imagine how pumped I was to be shocked. Alas, I was also tired from watching the Democratic debate, cleaning, and eating soup, and before the end/shock, I fell asleep. So I know for sure that we are not Alone in the Universe. But I don’t know the details.

Have you guys ever seen an ordinary plane and, like me, concluded it was from space? How was your week? Any weekend plans? The short film “Closet Cases of the Nerd Kind” was the funniest goddamm thing to Kid Me. Don’t expect too much (also my epitaph).

About hotspur

hotspur is the videogum name of Luke Rooney, who usually makes the Kessel Run in 17 or 18 parsecs because, like, what is the rush? We will get to Kessel when we get to Kessel, just sit down and enjoy the run for chrissakes.
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3 Responses to UFOs Are Definitely Real: Open Chat

  1. Tracey says:

    I have never seen a UFO but if I did, I would assume there was a reasonable explanation for it. At this point, however, I’m ready for the aliens to come take me away to a different planet.

    I don’t understand how the police can make you get off the roof if you’re over 18 years old? Legally you should have the right to fall off your roof and die! I’ve had a lot of ill-advised roof shenanigans out here in LA where many places have flat roofs (rooves? no roofs. right?) and therefore lots of drinking parties on the roof. One year on July 4 I was on a roof with a lot of drunk people and some guys were setting off fireworks using only star wars masks for eye protection. People kept inching farther away from them and I was worried that someone would fall off. But all that happened was one girl got some embers in her eye and cried. Luckily there was no permanent damage!

    I’m excited for the weekend. I’m going to a museum then to the bar from The New Girl.

  2. Kate says:

    I’ve never seen a UFO but I don’t doubt their existence. Sci fi geek here! We’re firing up the grill next week and having a big Fourth of July party. Husband has a boatload of fireworks for the entertainment portion of the evening. Tonight we’re seeing my niece in a local production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor DreamCoat. Should be good! She has a beautiful voice.

  3. gnidrah says:

    I don’t think I have ever seen one personally, but my science teacher at secondary school had, and he was a very rational man, so if he believed, then I want to believe too.

    Also, because we were little shits at school, we knew that if we could get him onto the subject of his UFO experience, that would be the lesson over, we could just sit back and relax and listen to the story.

    I can’t remember all of the detail (and there was A LOT) but the gist was that he was in Spain with his wife when they were newlyweds (I think) and they’d hired a car to drive around, and they were crossing this large desert-like valley (have never checked to see if there are any of those in Spain, and I’d kindly ask you not to check either, don’t ruin my life) They were pretty much the only people in the valley when something buzzed them, they had never seen anything like it in terms of shape and the material it was made of. They stopped because they were in shock, and they asked one another if they’d seen it too, etc etc, and they had, and I think possibly they saw it again from a distance (?) and then that was it. Before that, he hadn’t believed; after that, he did and he was very keen for us impressionable school children to believe too.

    (his wife was a supply teacher – and also a British Airways stewardess! Two jobs that never went together for me before, but always will now! – and she too could be relied upon to stop everything to tell the tale of their close encounter of the third kind)

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