Open chat: School’s back

Judging by Facebook, school seems to be back in session. My feed is filled with kids holding mini-chalkboards stating their new grades. Remember how much fun it was to pick out your first day outfit? I think in 5th grade I proudly sported a Bart Simpson shirt.

In 6th grade, one of my teachers said that time will pass faster every year of your life. In some ways that seems to be true. Like can you believe the government shut down was actually this year?

Anyhow. What’s up this week? I’m going to eat pizza tomorrow but that’s all I have on the books thus far.

This entry was posted in Chat and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Open chat: School’s back

  1. welcometocostcoiloveyou says:

    I don’t mind the back to school pictures, but what is going on with all the mini chalkboards? I mean, it’s cute, but also I know that if I had kids, I would not have time for that shit. At least, I don’t think I would.

  2. hotspur says:

    Wait. Literally mini chalkboards? Like it is start of the 1819 school year?

    I continued my double free feature program last night. Double freeture. Up first: Red Sparrow. As bad as people say? Pretty much! I remember J-Law saying the script had a lot to say about the conditions women endure and that she only did a “topless” scene because it was not exploitative but was about the character. And she felt that there was no way to watch it and feel aroused, but then she paused and said something like well, there are a lot of weirdos out there, so maybe I’m wrong, but I think what we got was art, not objectifying. At this point maybe I am making up what she said? But even if so, she was right. You could not even post a still of these boobs and be like “Look!” and get a single non-freak to say “Hot!” You really would get “Disturbing!” or “Why Did You Freeze-Frame This!” or “Character Building Probably!” Anyway spy movies come in two basic types: 1) Gadgets and Chases, 2) Grim Conversations. This movie was Type 2. And I think the reason it got made (not at all clear) was the pitch ran something like: “The world has Feminist Bourne (Atomic Blonde). The next step is Feminist Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy! A tedious, dim slog through Eastern Europe for obscure reasons for women.” Anyway it has a few interesting moments but why does present-day Russia look so much like 1955-1982 Russia, with no cell phones or cable or neon signs, and everyone wearing gray and meeting in vast empty tsarist palaces? Fucking artistic choices, this movie.

    Movie #2 was Widows. I almost stopped it at 15 seconds because it starts with a long, face-eating kiss. True love? Gross opening gambit, movie! Things improved a bit after that. Hilariously though, the best part was the assy dudes. Liam Neeson leads an all-man heist that goes south, bigtime. Fun! This results in long scenes of widows looking sad and needing money. I washed dishes while they looked sad, I got a lot done! Finally they agree to pull off their own all-ladies heist. But the compelling part is still the dudes: in the background, Colin Ferrel is running for office and he is the only complicated, unpredictable character. Everyone else is just a Widow. Fuck this movie. Wait no, I did like the Elizabeth Debicki character. The writing was sorta thin and tentative on her, but she made it work? Or else I just liked seeing how shockingly tall she is. And I definitely liked the female driver, who was a badass, not a widow. That driver walks in and takes the fuck charge. I would like a whole movie about her with no widows looking sad anywhere in its face.

Comments are closed.