May the 4th be with you!

Explain to me how March lasted 2 years and April was only a few days long? In any case, here we are, May 4, 2020. How are you celebrating this totally made up Star Wars holiday? In fairness, all holidays are made up. In my household we watched a New Hope and currently have Rogue One playing in the background while we work. Share your Star Wars movie rankings in the comments!

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19 Responses to May the 4th be with you!

  1. Sergeant Tibbs says:

    When I tried to rank Star Wars movies, I finally had to admit to myself that I’m not a huge Star Wars fan. I like the original 3 but can’t remember much else…also I keep wanting to call the Mandalorian the Manchurian Candidate. I’m definitely an Indiana Jones fan though and my rank for that would be Last Crusade, Raiders, Temple of Doom (even though it led to some mild bullying for all Indian kids across America even decades later) followed closely by Crystal Skull. While I didn’t hate Crystal Skull as much as many others did, I think there are very few sequels released years later that are necessary. This doesn’t include Bridget Jones’s Baby, which is wonderful and perfect for quarantine.

    This weekend, I enjoyed watching the new Mindy Kaling Netflix show, Never Have I Ever. I felt like it was a lot less uneven than her previous shows and movie and she’s really started to embrace diversifying her cast and crew, which I appreciate. It reflected in the stories and specific characters and their personalities. Yay for diversity!

    I don’t usually talk about the specifics of my job but I work in public health and this is maybe the strangest and most difficult thing I think a lot of us in this field have faced. I don’t get to comment often right now but I so appreciate seeing all of you here and hearing how you’re doing. Hope you’re all hanging in there!

    • Tracey says:

      Oh thanks for a new show recommendation! We’ve been watching Upload on Amazon this week and I’m really enjoying it but it has big problems too.

  2. hotspur says:

    Wow, I can’t believe someone is asking for my Star Wars rankings! This is usually the kind of opinion that a guy like me is forced to post unsolicited. And yet it is so important. Here is my 2 credits (credits is the money they use in Star Wars):
    TOP TIER
    Gold: Empire Strikes Back. It pushed things up a level, took no prisoners, was super cool.
    Also Gold: New Hope. Perfect myth. But only in the 1977 release. Han shoots first or suck it.
    Silver Medal: Last Jedi. It puts the heroes under real pressure and takes the myth seriously.
    Bronze: Rogue One. A great war story, set in space.
    NOT BAD
    Honorable Mention: Return of the Jedi. A satisfying wrap-up despite Ewoks.
    Okay Fine: Force Awakens. It gets the job done. (It is an immigrant.)
    PRETTY SHAKY
    Annoying But Compelling: Solo Story. Some very cool set pieces, just ignore the dialog.
    Watchable in Part: Revenge of the Sith. It’s talky and clunky but the lava planet is dramatic.
    DROPPIN’ THE BALL MYSTERIOUSLY HARD
    Chaotic Thoughtless Letdown: Rise of Skywalker. Just fucking inane. But pretty well paced?
    Forgettable: Attack of the Clones. I do remember Boba Fett’s dad gets beheaded in a stadium.
    Memorably Awful: Phantom Menace. You gave us the kid, midichlorians, and killed Darth Maul.

    • hotspur says:

      N.B., I will accept disagreements within any subclass, but must state categorically that any argument that a movie is in the wrong subclass will be rejected as trolling, i.e., it is acceptable to suggest Force Awakens is actually better than Return, but it is impossible to move Force Awakens up to Top Tier or down to Pretty Shaky. Thank you.

      • nastyemu says:

        I think TFA is better than Return, but mostly because TFA is very close to just being a remake of A New Hope.

    • Tracey says:

      This a a wonderful ranking, thank you! My only counterpoint is that I thought Rise of the Skywalker was really fun to watch. But I don’t remember what happened in the two previous movies so I accept that the plot might be stupid.

      • hotspur says:

        Yeah, VIII set up an amazing Rey-Kylo relationship, where you could see her turning evil or him turning good, and they killed (spoiler alert) Snoke so it was like, Ohhh, damn, IX has no chief villain so it’s gonna be about how this amazingly complicated love affair brings out goodness, fear, selfishness, it’s going to bring these kids to a BOIL and SOMEONE is going get hurt, including MAYBE everyone in the galaxy!

        And then, when IX (Rise) finally came out? It was a lot of JJ Abrams going, “Uhhh… I have no idea how to pay that off, so how about instead… some great chase scenes!!!!! Ohh, how about the Emperor is back!!!!” And to his credit yeah it was fun to watch but it totally ignored the preceding two movies — or the preceding five, if you count how it sort of made the whole “kill the Emperor” arc of IV-VI a failure that didn’t matter. I’ll shut up now.

  3. Tracey says:

    The company that I’ve worked at for 13 years was acquired by a company in the Midwest so my job was set to end in August before this all went down. But I just learned that they moved it up to May 31 so things are looking extra not great for me!

    • hotspur says:

      Oh no! Wait. What is the point of acquiring your company but getting rid of you, whom I am willing to believe is basically its chief asset?? That is like buying the Golden State Warriors and firing Steph Curry.

      • Tracey says:

        They haven’t decided about staffing yet but they basically said to be an employee I’d have to move across the country to their city, not that they even made me an offer. I know it’s not humble to say but the truth is that I don’t know what they’ll do without me! I’m fantasizing about charging outrageous hourly fees to answer the inevitable questions they’ll have after taking over.

        • hotspur says:

          I’m betting a lot more jobs become work-from-home jobs when this begins to lift. Mine probably will. Maybe yours does, and then you don’t have to move? Or yeah, just charge them insane money as a “consultant.”

    • gnidrah says:

      Ugh I’m sorry. A similar thing happened to my old company, except at least they had the decency to wait about 18 months before ditching us.

      I’ve managed to blag myself ONE MORE DAY of employment so I currently have three (3) paid days left in the 2020 diary. And I am sick of people saying “oh something will come along! You’ll be fine!”, because even though I know they mean well, right now, I just need someone to say, “you know what, that SUCKS, I’m sorry”.

      I have no advice but day at a time – what more can we do?

      • hotspur says:

        Dang it. I replied to you but it didn’t appear here. Scroll down for my wisdom!

      • Tracey says:

        It does suck! I’m sorry and I hope something does come through but fuck, it’s so stressful and shitty.

    • nastyemu says:

      That blows. I went through the same thing in October and that was stressful without coinciding with a pandemic.

  4. hotspur says:

    I’ll say it, that SUCKS.

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