Christmas Movie Reviews 2020: The Christmas Ornament

So I saw that on my TV planner. You can imagine why I was tempted. A HANDSOME CHRISTMAS TREE SHOP OWNER? *bing!* YULETIDE FESTIVITIES? *bing!* ERM, SOMETHING ELSE? *bing bing bing!*

In we go!

About gnidrah

Television, books, music, sports, cooking. I only get paid for one of them. (Update: two of them!)
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15 Responses to Christmas Movie Reviews 2020: The Christmas Ornament

  1. hotspur says:

    Hahaha, EVERY movie review should end with the line “I don’t want to criticise, because 2020 is bad enough.”
    To be honest though I was wondering when she started to sell cookies if she made sure to become properly licensed first. It is a bit of a hassle, there are a lot of laws, you can’t just cook food in your house and sell it, even if people want to buy it. There was a big controversy in LA a few years ago because the city cracked down on unlicensed old ladies who cook bacon-wrapped sausages on sidewalk carts to sell to drunks staggering out of clubs after midnight. The carts are often ingeniously improvised using dollies and baking sheets and propane. The city was like, “You need to stop being creative and instead use refrigeration and sterilization,” which drove most of these ladies out of business, as they had somehow not amassed the capital necessary to upgrade. They could not afford to invest in a Vend-o-Cart 5000. Advocates helped the ladies fight the crackdown, and it all ended in some sort of hard-fought compromise, which the city then immediately voided by posting signs all over that show a vending cart with a red line slanting through it. So now no carts are allowed, not even the 5000s. At this point I am fairly far afield from commenting on the Christmas movie, but I don’t see what else I can add to Christmas movie discourse at this moment. I look forward to the next Christmas romance review, and to entering its comment section with an ability to STAY FOCUSED.

    • Sergeant Tibbs says:

      Well geez I hope you don’t next time, I feel like I truly learned a lot about the LA street food game! Related to that (and not at all to the movie) this reminds me I’ve never had pigs in a blanket bc I’ve been a vegetarian for I guess so long that I never attended a party where they’d be served as a kid or adult… I wonder what else would go well in a blanket?

    • gnidrah says:

      I want a Vend-o-Cart 5000!

    • gnidrah says:

      Also completely agree, her hygiene could be terrible, and now she’s spreading it everywhere with her amazing cookies.

  2. Sergeant Tibbs says:

    This checks that Christmas bingo box of two 90s tv stars who I haven’t seen in years! Lucy from ER will always be a welcome holiday presence given her fateful demise at Valentine’s Day while everyone’s eating cake.

    Tim’s Trees made me laugh out loud and then really consider the fact that people just don’t use possessive apostrophes in names enough. Perhaps they should consider it.

    • gnidrah says:

      EXACTLY. We want an old TV friend back in our lives for a few hours. Just possibly in a slightly more fun film than this one.

      Off to name a child something apostrophised.

  3. Tracey says:

    Who among us didn’t dream of owning a cok shop! Bummer that this didn’t live up to its promise. I watched a Christmas film last year (maybe many years ago? Time has no meaning) about a magic Christmas ornament and I expected it to be terrible but it was actually okay. My favorite holiday movie guy is in it, Brendan Penny. Yes I have preferences on made for TV rom com actors.

    • gnidrah says:

      If I see Lacey Chabert or the pairing of Kristy Swanson and Dean Cain, I know I’m onto a winner!

    • Sergeant Tibbs says:

      I had to look up this movie about magic Christmas ornaments – turns out the name is Magical Christmas Ornaments and the photo is Brendan Penny and Lady Brendan Penny holding (magical?) Christmas ornaments. How on the nose!

      I live in a friend’s house and I had to go into the crawl space today (to find bodies, of course) and instead found a tree stand and a box of Christmas decorations! I wonder if they are magical and not full of ghost spirits…

  4. Amy says:

    Thank for educating me about the kinds of Christmas ladies! The “too busy” ones and the “too sad” ones. Are there different kinds of Christmas gents too? Like this one is clearly a lumberjack gent. Trees and flannel and a jaw so chiseled I’m wondering if it hurts.

    Also, why is Tim’s Trees not in his shop on CHRISTMAS EVE? Isn’t that a big tree buying moment? My ex’s family never decorated their tree until Christmas Eve. His parents wanted to “keep it special.” Like too much joy would create lazy kids. My family had that tree up and blinking right after T’giving.

    • gnidrah says:

      Omg there definitely ARE different kinds of Christmas men, it’s one of the ways Christmas films are actually quite an equal universe. Men and women get stereotyped equally dreadfully. Christmas gents are usually either sad or busy, but in slightly different ways to Christmas ladies – if they’re sad it’s not because they’ve been dumped/widowed, it’s because they’re players who haven’t seen the error of their ways yet. And if they’re busy, it’s because they’re MEAN (I grant you, some crossover with ladies) They’re grinches who just want to profit from Christmas, whereas often our ladies aren’t remotely bothered about Christmas IN THE BEGINNING. Then they all learn the error of their ways! Hurrah!

      Just got my Christmas tree! Sorting decorations now!

  5. Amy says:

    Also, I have a friend who owned a very successful Cok Shop in LA, with a wide assortment of coks—frosted, sprinkled, cut-outs, cutom-made, you name it. But the city demanded she upgrade to a Cok Shop 5000 and she had to shut down. It’s a fairly niche market. Anyway, you can still get them if you know a person who knows a person.

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