Author Archives: Commentatrix

About Commentatrix

First-wave millennial.

Let’s all happy faint as a family!

Girls (and some guys), we did it! The wait was strenuous and great. Relationships ended and flourished. Babies were born. Careers were reinvented. Prayers, secretings and spells were released into the universe. And now, finally, our faith has been rewarded. I’m talking of course … Continue reading

Posted in TV | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

These two fuckheads

Guys, I apologize. I know we here in the Homeless Monster community don’t typically like to delve too deeply into metaphorical excrement, but prepare to positively WADE IN IT today. You guys remember this human skid mark? Of course you … Continue reading

Posted in Links | Tagged , , , , , | 10 Comments

Jon Hamm revealed to be susceptible to vice like rest of us, is but mortal human man

In news that probably shouldn’t be as shocking as it nevertheless still is, objectively handsome and impossibly charming male person Jon “sometimes God does give with both hands” Hamm has just completed rehab for his heretofore secret alcohol addiction. As a concerned … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, TV | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

Let’s ring in Monday with this video of a duckling living our dreams

Falling hostage to overwhelming sleepiness while a benevolent higher being gently strokes my hair is literally all I want out of life.

Posted in Cute, Videos | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

B-Cumbs wants you to know he was a gay rights defender before it was cool

In news that might make even Artdork roll her eyes, Celebricrush of the Homeless Monsters and Friend of the Gays Benedict Cumberbatch humbly recounted a story of his own boarding school heroism to Out Magazine this week: “These kids were chasing this … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities | Tagged , , , , | 26 Comments

Trix Tips: Best Friends For… as Long as We Can Tolerate Each Other?

I have a friend from college who I love dearly, like a sister.  We moved to different ends of the country after college, and we would talk almost every day on the phone.  But after a couple of years, I … Continue reading

Posted in Wisdom | Tagged , , , , | 31 Comments

Trix Tips: When meeting is easier than greeting

Hi Monsters missed you how ya been sweet GIFs love what you’ve done with the place! I’m still here for you (promise), but today’s column will be another quickie one, because I once again find myself lacking the time/energy/presence of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 25 Comments

Trix Tips: Of Candy and Cube-Mates

Dearest Commentatrix, I recently got a new cubicle-mate at work. She is a perfectly nice person, but a serious problem has arisen. I keep a candy dish at my desk that I share with everybody in the department, and even … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 18 Comments

Trix Tips needs YOU!

Howdy, gang! I know I’ve been supes MIA this week, but only because I’ve been so busy with work and life and moving and still not having found an apartment and still sleeping on friends’ couches. Ugh! Dear God, let … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 21 Comments

Trix Tips: So your BFF hates your BF. Now what?

Dear Auntie Commentatrix, I have this friend who we will call Tammy, because that is not her real name. Tammy and I have been BFF for more years than we have not been BFF. She is usually the bees knees, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 15 Comments