Author Archives: old man fatima

About old man fatima

They say that Old Man Fatima is over 400 years old, and that she stays alive by feeding on kids like you and me every Halloween. I heard she turns into an owl at night and flies around the neighbourhood looking for her next victim and that nobody has ever seen her blink.

ANTM Finale Open Thread

I was going to write an entire review for this 2-hour stand-up comedy special, but my notes are all just some variation of “Tyra is fucking crazy.” So, maybe an open thread is more appropriate. Who watched? Who did you … Continue reading

Posted in TV | Tagged , , | 14 Comments

True Documentaries: Humanity’s Martian Origins

We had our first snowfall where I live this weekend. It was only a few flakes and they melted almost immediately, but it was enough to keep me tucked away like a hermit. Living in the Great White North means … Continue reading

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A Birth-Day Murder Most Foul

Samuel J. Yellowdog’s birthday began quite the same as any other day. He awoke at 4am and dressed for his 13 hour shift in the bone mines. At the ripe old age of 2, he was almost too old for … Continue reading

Posted in Cute | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

Monster Marriages

Fresh off of the horrifying new of B T Cumbersmooch’s engagement, and my horrifying revelation that I watch and legitimately love the pinnacle of reality television, FYI channel’s Married at First Sight, I think that we as a family need … Continue reading

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Spooky Romance: A Chinese Ghost Story

My second spooky romance review is not a review so much as it is a love story in itself. Monster family, I know I have said this before, but I have found the man I want to spend the rest … Continue reading

Posted in Movies | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Spooky Romance Review: Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands

I promised you spoopy romance reviews, and as God is my witness, I always deliver on my promises. You know you can trust that, because it is a promise. Both of the movies I am going to review involve sexytimes … Continue reading

Posted in Movies | Tagged , | 18 Comments