Author Archives: Simon Spidermonk

About Simon Spidermonk

Simon Spidermonk doesn't exist. You're hallucinating, right now. It's been happening for quite some time. Everyone's worried about you but they're afraid to say anything. Only I, Simon Spidermonk, love you enough to tell you the truth. It's just you and me, baby. The rest is lies.

Orphan Black Discussion Thread

That picture isn’t a very good representation of what the show’s all about but it’s the least spoilery one I could find.  I’m not sure how many of you are into this show.  If you haven’t been watching, you have … Continue reading

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Cats Grapple with the Unknowable

One possible interpretation of this video is that these cats know they’re out of their depth and are deliberately ruining the game just to save face.  Another interpretation is that their little cat brains are doing their best to wrap … Continue reading

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The World Cup of Darth Vader saying (SPOILER) “I am your father.”

So which version do you think is the scariest?  I vote for the Czech.  On Kotaku, which is where I got this, the consensus seemed to be that the German version was the most menacing but I think that’s just … Continue reading

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Spain Reshapes The Narrative

Here’s a picture of Iker Casillas looking up at the clock while the U2 song Stuck In A Moment plays in his head.  “The Dutch are only a single component of this moment’s cruel merrymaking at my expense,” he is … Continue reading

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*onomatopoeic transcription of a vuvuzela sound*!! (but in Spanish)

According to FIFA (the Footballers’ International Friendship Assembly): The Spanish delegation arrived on Sunday evening in Brazil, ahead (Ed. note: ahead! such polite young men) of the 2014 FIFA World Cup™. The defending champions are aiming to win their fourth … Continue reading

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Bill Watterson Drew Something New For You To Look At!

There’s never been a more appropriate time for me to go “squeeee!” than now.  I’m not going to do it, but somewhere in the multiverse there’s an alternate version of me who has a bit less stubborn pride, who’s totally … Continue reading

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Best Wishes from POM Wonderful

In which John Oliver reads the most beautifully crafted “F You” letter ever devised by a corporate hivemind. (This clip is more than two weeks old, which means you can see Internet Dinosaurs roaming the background, but hopefully most of … Continue reading

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