Tag Archives: monday

Hope Your Monday is as Lit as this Big Ol’ Sack of Fireworks

Quick, count all your fingers and toes. Still there? Close enough? Good! Have a great week, everybody! Advertisements

Posted in Videos | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Flanospooks for the Week

In today’s ‘scopes, the stars provide you with the name of the vampire who turns you. (Turns you into a vampire. “Turns you” is vampire jargon for being turned into a vampire. Or so I hear. I’m not a vampire … Continue reading

Posted in Wisdom | Tagged , , , | 15 Comments

Flanospooks for the Week

Today the stars will tell you the pattern of the corn maze in which you will get lost, wither away, and die from starvation, utterly forgotten. Aries: March 21-April 19 An accurate map of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana.

Posted in Wisdom | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

Flanospooks for the Week

This week the stars will tell you what you’ll find in the tumble-down outbuilding you can only see from the back attic window of the spooky old farmhouse you purchased and are trying to flip. Aries: March 21-April 19 A … Continue reading

Posted in Wisdom | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

Flanospooks for the Week

*Please sing the following to the tune of “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison.* Retuuurn of the ‘spooks! This week the stars will ease you into the spookiness by revealing to you the actual source of the noises in … Continue reading

Posted in Wisdom | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

Five-Day Flanoscopes

Wondering what’s in the stars for you this week? Wonder no more, because here I am with this week’s Flanoscopes. Aries: March 21-April 19 This week you’re going to rub your face on a small packet of drugs and then … Continue reading

Posted in Wisdom | Tagged , | 10 Comments

Five-Day Flanoscopes

Wondering what’s in the stars for you this week? Wonder no more, because here I am with this week’s Flanoscopes. Aries: March 21-April 19 You are the Dollar Store of life. You’re filled with a whole bunch of off-brand stuff … Continue reading

Posted in Wisdom | Tagged , | 20 Comments